Is That A Loud Zipper, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

Nine men, including a mayoral candidate have been caught up in a men's bathroom sweep in a Daytona Beach mall. How does one amplify zipper noises, is it an iPod ap, or something?

As a way to attract attention from another interested person, the men either cough, sneezed, tapped their feet, sometimes under the stall next to them, or they made loud zipper noises, police said.

Among the nine were former Daytona Beach city commissioner and mayoral candidate Michael Shallow, and local high school teacher and athletic trainer David Behringer, police said.

All were charged with lewd and lascivious conduct, and exposure of a sexual organ.

Detectives were tipped off by Sears officials that sexual misconduct was taking place in its second-floor men's restroom.

Comments

[TheSpartan]

Has the RNC taken down the address for recruiting purposes?

[Purple Avenger]

Performance enhanced zippers? I had no idea. Really.

[Peg C.]

Men have forever complained that there is no understanding women. Believe me, women don't understand men, and when we read these kinds of things we really do not want to.

[scarshapedstar]

"Men have forever complained that there is no understanding women. Believe me, women don't understand men, and when we read these kinds of things we really do not want to."

Really? I thought read in Cosmo once that something like 70% of women have lesbian sex with strangers in a bathroom at least once in their life.

[Wahoo Willie Sez:]

"Men have forever complained that there is no understanding women. Believe me, women don't understand men, and when we read these kinds of things we really do not want to."

Uh Peg, do you mind if we amend your statement to apply to GAY men rather than throwing all of us into the same stew here. Frankly, if most of the hetero men that I know were "approached" in a rest room. The end result would look like a scene from 'Fight Club'

[Dave]

I second wahoo willie... although that nick is a bit unfortunate, given the context. :-))

[K T Cat]

Amen, Wahoo Willie.

What a dichotomy, too! I can't imagine wooing a woman with zipper noises. Zipper noises?!? What is up with that?

[K T Cat]

By the way, Spartan, if you read the article, you won't find the political affiliation of Mike Shallow, the mayoral candidate. It takes some serious digging to find out that he is a Democrat.

[Wahoo Willie Sez:]

"that nick is a bit unfortunate, given the context"

LOL, Stoppit you're hurting me! The thought never occured.

"I can't imagine wooing a woman with zipper noises."

I can't imagine wooing a woman in a public rest room. Nothing against the occaisional tryst in public places but there is something very seriously wrong about strangers and rest rooms.

[Exurban Jon]

Florida doesn't mess around. You can get 18 months for possession of an unlicensed sexual organ.

BTW, do these guys take a class to learn all these bizarre signals? They use everything but semaphore.

[Joan of Argghh!]

Exurban Jon: another unfortunate moniker in this conversation!

I wanna read the booking statements... A man. In a bathroom. Unzips his pants. Loudly.

All you guys had better start buying pants with quiet, nylon zippers. Or 501 Levi's.

[Wahoo Willie Sez:]

"BTW, do these guys take a class to learn all these bizarre signals?"

BobindaBasement seems obsessed with gays, maybe he can shed some light on that question.

[Bombast]

Loud zippers, coughing and sneezing?

I swear, I'm going to start peeing in the street. That way it's just a $50 fine, not a Jessica's law lifetime prohibition on living anywhere but in a van down by the river, loss of my job and credentials, loss of my kids, my house, etc.

[K T Cat]

Perhaps these fellows weren't gay after all. Perhaps they're frogosexuals. After all, many frogs make croaking noises that sound a bit like zippers, don't they?

"I can't imagine wooing a woman in a public rest room." Yes, well, there is that, too. I can hardly imagine a lonely hearts article suggesting that the best place to meet Mr./Miss Right is a public restroom.

Maybe I'm just reading the wrong publications.

[SWLiP]

Did any of the accused mention having a wide stance?

[CGHill]

I'm waiting for the report that explains how wider stances amplify zipper noises.

[Katt]

I believe these bathroom buddies need serious help. How fricking twisted can you be? I can't imagine a straight woman wooing a stranger in a bathroom--the thought just made me upchuck my pancakes. Yuck.

[Frodo]

What's with the persecution? I thought we celebrated these guys and had parades for them?

[Wahoo Willie Sez:]

"I swear, I'm going to start peeing in the street."

Just make sure you are 1000 feet from schools, churches and parks.

[John S.]

I dont' know that it's necessarily gay men doing all the restroom cruising... after all, I'm gay, and I've never cruised anyone in a restroom, nor ever had the remotest desire to. Besides, if you ask the guys caught in the sting, I bet most of them would tell you they're straight. So to me, it sounds like straight guys are the real problem in public restrooms.

Bombast, I agree... it's simply not worth getting caught and prosecuted for a sex crime just because your zipper happens to open too loudly one day.

[Wahoo Willie Sez:]

"if you ask the guys caught in the sting, I bet most of them would tell you they're straight."

You're probably right John at least that they would "claim" to be straight and I'm certain you know more about gay male behavior than I do. However I do know some gay men and I'm fairly sure that,like you, they find the thought of "lookin' for love in all the wrong places" repugnant. These guys have very deep issues and it does not matter if they're gay or hetero....they have rotten cabbage for brains.

[Easycure]

Since when is it illegal to expose your member in a bathroom.

[Mister Snitch!]

Gee, Sears really DOES have everything.

[Bubba James]

We don't have that problem down here 'cause we're all gomersexuals. The signal in the outhouse is you tote in a bale of hay and fling it on the floor loud enough to attract some attention and rise the dust.

Course, one of them city slickers wandered in oncet and commenced to clack his brogans on the board floor. I didn't know if he wuz gay or doin' a John Hartford imitation.

[K T Cat]

"I dont' know that it's necessarily gay men doing all the restroom cruising"

This makes no sense at all. By definition, heteros are interested in the opposite sex. As Wahoo Willie said, there's not a lot of the opposite sex in a public restroom.

[Wahoo Willie Sez:]

"Since when is it illegal to expose your member in a bathroom."

When you wave it at the other gents trying to mind their own beeswax

[Orion]

Senator Larry Craig could not be reached for comment.

[M. Simon]

A Shallow Democrat? No surprise there.

[John S.]

K T Cat:

The difficulty arises because most of the men who get caught in situations like this would not define themselves as gay. The whole issue of the definition of "gay" has always been a contentious one. Some people say that gay is a self-imposed identity or social construct, others say you're gay only if you actually have sex with people of the same sex, and others say you're gay if you are attracted to people of the same sex, even if you never act on it (I happen to fall into the latter camp).

On the whole, I would tend to agree with you... the guys looking for a sexual encounter in a men's restroom are probably bi, at the very least. But most of them, including Sen. Craig, would outright reject that label, even if they would admit to the act. In that case, I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, and just try to reconcile the fact that they were looking for sex that they claim they wouldn't enjoy with people they claim they aren't attracted to. That sounds completely bizarre to me, but I've claimed to be able to understand straight male behavior. ;-)

[John S.]

Sorry, that should have been "I've NEVER claimed to be able to understand straight male behavior".

My bad.

[Wahoo Willie Sez:]

"you're gay if you are attracted to people of the same sex, even if you never act on it."

Now that makes no sense. If you've never "explored" that attraction, how do you call yourself gay rather than merely curious?

[SGT Ted]

"I dont' know that it's necessarily gay men doing all the restroom cruising..."

Right. Because, we all know that a sign of heterosexual behavior is hitting on other men for sex.

By definition, cruising for men in bathrooms at least makes one bi, if the cruiser happens to like women too. If they are exclusively going for the cock, I'd say one could count on them being gay, regardless of any denials.

[SGT Ted]

And, if you cannot fathom anonymous gay sex encounters, you need to read "And The Band Played On" by Randy Schilts or anything dealing with the SF gay scene before AIDS/HIV killed most of them.

[Wahoo Willie Sez:]

"before AIDS/HIV killed most of them."

Exactly what makes it so much more stupid.

[Exurban Jon]

Well Larry Craig certainly wasn't gay. The only reason he was tapping his foot was to spell out "I AM NOT GAY" in Morse Code.

[K T Cat]

"The difficulty arises because most of the men who get caught in situations like this would not define themselves as gay."

Being a blogger, I don't worry about how other people define themselves. My opinions are so cogent, so witty, so necessary that I feel perfectly fine defining everyone else myself. When I want their opinions, I'll open the comments for them.

:-)

[jaed]

What I want to know is how in hell are men going to dare to use a public restroom at all, if this goes on much longer? If you're careful, you can refrain from coughing, sneezing, or tapping your feet, I suppose, but unzipping seems unavoidable.

I seem to recall that one of the dread signs o' cruising in the Larry Craig case was his putting his suitcase on the floor next to the stall door, which means you'd better clutch it in your arms during the whole process to be safe from the police. And the business about waggling his fingers under the stall partition... maybe among men this means "I want to have sex in the bathroom", but among women it means "Damn, this stall is out of paper."

I really don't want Bombast's solution to become the habit of prudent men. (Not to mention that there are worse things than men *peeing* in the street.) Ugh, ugh, ugh.

[Sam]

I would think that the police have more than "tapping their foot" or a "loud zipper" if they expect to get convictions. On the other hand, maybe they don't care what happens in court. They have put the public on notice that they too can get arrested and their name published without any real proof. The publicity will probably fix Sears's problem, but hard on the guys they "caught" if they weren't there for that reason.

[Philip McDaniel]

LOL!!!
What an amusing bunch of comments. I haven't been over on the east coast around Daytona Beach for years but it used to be a real biker hangout. I wonder if any of the "perps" had on their leathers. That might explain the loud zippers.

[Gordon]

"BTW, do these guys take a class to learn all these bizarre signals? They use everything but semaphore."

Actually, it might explain the guy I saw at a rest stop with the that Van Halen Diver Down flag shoved up his ass.

[SDN]

"I can't imagine wooing a woman in a public rest room."

Am I the only one who remembers Tom Cruise trying it on Kelly McGillis in Top Gun?

[Wahoo Willie Sez:]

"Am I the only one who remembers Tom Cruise trying it on Kelly McGillis in Top Gun?"

No you're not but look at his sofa jumping ass now....see what it does to people.

[SDN]

"I can't imagine wooing a woman in a public rest room."

Am I the only one who remembers Tom Cruise trying it on Kelly McGillis in Top Gun?

[TBinSTL]

Can we get a translation on the whole "attracted to" thing? Does it make me gay if I think a guy is attractive as in, "man, I wish I looked that good" or does it have to be "I would love to lay my head on his rippling abs"? Are there degrees of gay-ness? I am soo very confused now....

[Bildo]

Getting aroused by the sight of your own wiener would be an extreme degree of gay-ness. Wouldn't it?

[bour3]

Man, I am getting so sick of this. I go into a public restroom and the guy to the right starts, like, playing a tune with his zipper, or something. Then this other guy comes in and stands at the urinal on the other side of me and spreads his legs so far apart they bump into mine and I know he doesn't have to dig all that out just to have a wee. And so then this person in the stall keeps tapping his foot like a total spaz and all the winking and shrugging in the mirror is totally weird, so that's the last time, and I mean LAST time I've ever going to the head at the Anvil

[Craig Lawrence]

I'm not gay, but the guy blowing me is.

[seekeronos]

I seem to recall a set of "rules" as well concerning proper stall selection, i.e. NEVER, EVER selecting a stall if either adjacent stall is occupied, and always selecting stalls to allow for a maximum of empty stalls between yours and the other legal/legitimate restroom users.

Think that's ridiculous?

Pretty soon it will get down to where businesses will be required to set up individual toilet rooms with a key issued at the front desk - where one must sign a statement and give fingerprints and DNA samples prior and a $5 fee prior to using the Loo.

Or it could be that the NYC rule of "pee before leaving your house, because you ain't getting another chance once you get into town" might be come very widespread throughout the nation.

Trying to find, and then get access to a public latrine facility in Manhattan is nearly as difficult as getting a TS security clearance with a conviction on your record.

Wouldn't it really suck if, out of the nine guys caught in the sting... seven of them were actually just going about their micturation or excretion of the contents of either bladder or bowel, with a mind to proceed briskly on out of the latrine to resume their non-gay business?

Of course, the two guys in the farthest stall down wouldn't have a good time of explaining why they were thus... but dragnets and stings don't play nice for anyone caught up in them.

[Scott]

Wahoo Willie said, "'you're gay if you are attracted to people of the same sex, even if you never act on it.'

Now that makes no sense. If you've never "explored" that attraction, how do you call yourself gay rather than merely curious?"

Let's place that in another context and see if it makes any sense to you:

"you're straight if you are attracted to people of the opposite sex, even if you never act on it."

Now that makes no sense. If you've never "explored" that attraction, how do you call yourself straight rather than merely curious?

Your statement doesn't make much sense when the context is reversed, does it?

For example, I'm bisexual, and I've been happily and faithfully married to a woman for 21 years. We're the proud parents of 3 great kids. When I said "cleave only unto her 'til death do us part," there wasn't a gender clause hidden in there.

I've never had sex with a man, but then I've never had sex with a woman other than my wife, either. In the final analysis, gay, straight, bisexual - these describe attractions, not just behaviors.Well, I can look at a beautiful woman - Catherine Zeta-Jones, say, and she really does it for me. On the other hand, Jamie Bamber, who plays Lee Adama in Battlestar Galactica, is pretty hot as well. So am I bisexual?

I believe that a major problem in the public dialogue/culture war (depending on perspective)is defining terminology. We use the same words, but we define them differently. This tends to result in people talking at, or past each other, rather than a productive dialogue.

Oh, and the whole cruising bathrooms thing is disgusting to me, as would be bath houses or any of a number of stereotypical components of "gay culture." If, God forbid, my wife passes before me, I expect any relationship with another woman or man would develop the same way as that of my wife and I. Dating, courting, and committed cohabitation in lieu of civil union.

*Climbs down off soap box.*

Scott

[Scott]

Wahoo Willie said, "'you're gay if you are attracted to people of the same sex, even if you never act on it.'

Now that makes no sense. If you've never "explored" that attraction, how do you call yourself gay rather than merely curious?"

Let's place that in another context and see if it makes any sense to you:

"you're straight if you are attracted to people of the opposite sex, even if you never act on it."

Now that makes no sense. If you've never "explored" that attraction, how do you call yourself straight rather than merely curious?

Your statement doesn't make much sense when the context is reversed, does it?

For example, I'm bisexual, and I've been happily and faithfully married to a woman for 21 years. We're the proud parents of 3 great kids. When I said "cleave only unto her 'til death do us part," there wasn't a gender clause hidden in there.

I've never had sex with a man, but then I've never had sex with a woman other than my wife, either. In the final analysis, gay, straight, bisexual - these describe attractions, not just behaviors.Well, I can look at a beautiful woman - Catherine Zeta-Jones, say, and she really does it for me. On the other hand, Jamie Bamber, who plays Lee Adama in Battlestar Galactica, is pretty hot as well. So am I bisexual?

I believe that a major problem in the public dialogue/culture war (depending on perspective)is defining terminology. We use the same words, but we define them differently. This tends to result in people talking at, or past each other, rather than a productive dialogue.

Oh, and the whole cruising bathrooms thing is disgusting to me, as would be bath houses or any of a number of stereotypical components of "gay culture." If, God forbid, my wife passes before me, I expect any relationship with another woman or man would develop the same way as that of my wife and I. Dating, courting, and committed cohabitation in lieu of civil union.

*Climbs down off soap box.*

Scott