If You Knew Snow White, Like I Knew Snow White

It's only a movie. Check that, it isn't even a movie. IT'S A FREAKIN' CARTOON!!!!!!!!!!!

The "Shrek" films, whose latest installment hits theaters Friday, have made blockbuster business out of subverting classic children's stories, presenting lovably goofy alter egos out of shiny knights and fair damsels and maybe bringing them a little closer to our own not-so-happily-ever-after reality.

"My guess is that in the essence of what these characters originally were, they probably were more complex," said "Shrek the Third" producer Aron Warner. "In the last however many years, one side of them has been shown, and it's the more shiny, happy, everything's perfect side.

"I think that frustrates people whose lives don't in any way, shape or form reflect that. There's a kind of joy and willingness to see the other side, see them undone. In a way, see them more like ourselves. If you really knew Snow White, you'd know there's more to her than just the happy-go-lucky singing girl in the forest."

No wonder Hollywood takes Al Gore so seriously. Reality-based community ... uh huh. Sure. They take themselves so seriously so we don't have to, I suppose.

"It's almost like a `fairy-tales where are they now' special," said Cheri Oteri, who provides the voice of Sleeping Beauty. "Like Jack Be Nimble, whatever happened to him?"

I think he'll be taking meetings again, right after he gets out of Betty Ford, but you'd better call his people to make sure. Nitwit.

Comments

[seekeronos]

The PC-police would probably freak out if they saw the old "Banned WW2" cartoons, like "Bugs Bunny nips the Nips" or "Tokio Jokio", or "Herr meets Hare". Why, I'm surprised that the CAIR isn't trying to get that those few Bugs Bunny cartoons with Yosemite Sam in Arab attire banned.

[southdakotaboy]

Hey we all know that Snow White had to do some of "those" kind of movies a few years back. She and the Dwarfs were down on their luck, the mine thing wasn't working out. Sometimes a girl just has to do what a girl has to do.

[Lokki]

And let's not mention Bambi -

She certainly fell into hard times after her early movie success. Drugs were involved, I suppose. Happens to almost all of them.

At least she got a book deal out of it in the end.

Run, Bambi, Run: The Beautiful Convicted Murderer Who Escaped to Freedom and Won America's Heart (Hardcover)

You can get it on Amazon

Here's a paparazzi shot of her when she was still young and pretty but you can see she was already hanging out with some real stinkers.

[Lokki]

http://www.pewterkingdom.com/Bambi/BambiOlszewskiBambiMeetsFlower.jpg

No HTML Photos here? Well, above is a link to the picture - you can pull it up for yourself, but it's kind of sad

[Raging_Dave]

Well, yeah, Snow White was messed up. What do you expect when the only "prince" you can get is some wierd dude who gets his jollies out of kissing sleeping women who appear dead? Ick. That's some closet necrophelia right there, buddy.

[Cindi]

Cinderella complex in full force. Uggh.......no wonder I never get laid!

[southdakotaboy]

Hey lets not forget about Smurfett. The only girl in a town full of Smurfs, that poor girl has to have some issues by now.

[seekeronos]

Smurfette had it good. All them smurfs were gay, except of course, for Papa Smurf. That of course, is a whole 'nother issue...