Dems To Stop All Highway Funding

With an average fatality rate of over 1,000 per year, upon realizing that more Americans have died building and maintaining the US highway system than in Iraq during the course of the Iraq War, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has pronounced the Federal Highway system as lost. He went on to suggest it's simply another sign of Bush administration incompetence, though the fatality rate is down from that under former President Clinton.

"The cost is too great," said Reid. "It's time for American drivers to step up", he went on, suggesting that American drivers begin carrying shovels and containers of asphalt to effect their own repairs as they make their way.

Representative Jack Murtha (D) is said to be crafting legislation to re-deploy all American highway workers to golf courses, hedgerows and large fenced-in yards, where they can work out of harm's way. "We can deploy them as needed when a major highway or bridge collapses, like Ted Kennedy's Big Dig," said Murtha.

Given that overall occupational deaths claim far more American lives every year than throughout the entire course of the Iraq War, some speculate that Democrats may eventually propose doing away with working altogether, believing it's far more safe for Americans if they simply stay home.

Comments

[Jim Martin]

Mr. Bush, refusing to sign anything but a "clean bill" repeated his mantra: "If we don't defeat them on the federal highways we'll be fighting them in our driveways.
Mr. Bush knows something about this, having Cindy Sheehan in this driveway for most of last summer.

Funny post, thanks

[Phoenix]

You didn't go far enough, Dan. Alcohol related traffic deaths surpass all wars in the whole world since time began. No more booze anywhere. I know prohibition didn't work, but we can use our soldiers this time. Also no more cell phones. They cause wrecks. And invoke ACLB. That's All Children Left Behind when you get behind the wheel of your car. Crying brats are a distraction and cause wrecks. Also, ban sex because that makes brats. That would get rid of the perv problem, too. As well, it would hasten the demise of our great country if we ran out of replacement Americans. The Hispanics, not given to following our laws if they sneaked here illegally, would, of course, continue to breed, and then we'd become an extension of Mexico. See? Winners, all. And no deaths. Death, thou shallt die!

[Bill Faith]

Don't joke about things like that, Dan. There are people in DC stupid enough to take you seriously. First the came for the flagmen, then the farmers, then ...

[Zifnab]

Why does this remind me of the minimum wage arguement?
"Raise the wage to $7/hr? That's ridiculous! You might as well raise the wage to $100/hr, and that would be stupid!"

Because, you know, increasing the safety of construction workers would be such a horrible thing. So horrible, it would be better to abolish the Federal Highway System. As opposed to, you know, giving them hard-hats. Or mandating safer equipment.

I think I heard this back in the '70s. "Omg! Seatbelts?! Why don't they all just make us wear helmets and water wings while we're driving! Safe driving is for pussies and makes our cars too expensive!"

Actually, I think I heard this during Iraq in regards to issuing our troops body armor developed more recently than Vietnam and giving them Humvees that actually had armored plating. What was it? Mr. Rumsfeld? "You go to war with the army you have, not the army you wish you had." Now that's personal responsibility! Go Republicans!

[Phoenix]

Zif,

You took this seriously?

H o l y s h i t.

I think you just maxed out the Master of the Gong Show. :)

[Purple Avenger]

"Now that's personal responsibility!"

Actually, its an inevitable logistic reality.

I'd suggest reading General Carter Magruder's "Recurring Logistic Problems As I Have Observed Them" to get a real insight into the problems associated with military logistics and replacement/repair issues. Its printed by the Army's Center of Military History and you can order it through the Govt Printing Office.

Of course you're not interesting in actually learning the realities about any of this, just making political hay.

[Raging_Dave]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand as usual here comes the Zifster, proving that he hasn't a clue in the world, and tossing in a gratuitous reference to Donald Rumsfeld just for the fun of it!

And you wonder why I don't take you seriously, Ziffy?