The General Gnaws On The Holy Prepuce

It appears a certain Liberal soldier of God has developed a bad case of penis envy, what with Jesus' foreskin on his mind.

Dan Riehl
Riehl World View

Dear Mr. Riehl,

Did you know that Our Lord, Jesus' immaculate foreskin disappeared along with its sacred shoebox 23 years ago? I bet you didn't, because the media failed to report it. Indeed, only one American journalist, David Farley of Slate, has written anything about the missing snip. He believes the Pope stole it.

A wiki version of the story of the Holy Prepuce of Calcata.

According to legends of the village of Calcata, in 1527 a soldier in the German army sacking Rome looted the Sancta Sanctorum; when he was eventually captured in the village, he hid the jeweled reliquary containing the Holy Prepuce in his cell, where it was discovered in 1557 and officially venerated by the Catholic Church since that time, offering a ten year indulgence to pilgrims. Calcata thus became a popular site for pilgramage.

As a non-Catholic, I couldn't begin to sort out the conflicting stories of the sixteen competing foreskins of Jesus. However, the sheer number suggests Jesus was no dickless wonder, as I imagine is his Liberal foot soldier on the ground.

Comments

[Phoenix]

STOP IT !!!!!!!! Stop it this minute! You get me all pissed-off about some perv stuffing documents down his pants and the segue into THIS??

I don't know where to start..... 'The General Gnaws on the Holy Prepuce'.. Nice alliteration, Dan, but for sure that is some serious mojo over there on that site what with "Jesus' General" flashing in foreign languages and that cool picture of some dickless Mafioso type Jesus giving the high-five point to whoever happens upon his image. What? What is that voodoo all about over there?

Here's the best part: "AN 11 ON THE MANLY SCALE OF ABSOLUTE GENDER". Who's it trying to convince? And the "heterosexually yours"? Okay. As opposed to 'Sincerely, Jeeez' ?

And I can't even grok that stuff about the holy prepuce and how maybe it was restored or maybe Jesus didn't get into Heaven if his foreskin stayed here on earth?

Hey. What is that stuff about a little snip of part of the foreskin as the new way of doing it instead of taking it all?? eew. Was the former more like guillotining of the head? Maybe that's what the General got and why he has to insist he's an 11, by god.

Okay. I have to calm down. I just want to suggest that one of the reasons you impress me is that you didn't feel the need to give yourself a title when you set up your blog. I've seen those who give themselves titles and I cringe so bad I can't stand it. What with the need for a title as a foil to being fore-shortened in the dick department if not the psychic department, I'm rethinking things.

Figuring you for the regular horny dude who luvs wimmen and has no need to prove it other than wishing your manly unit got a bit more stretching, why not rename your blog:

THE RUMPLED FORESKIN CARNIVORE.

[Steel]

Dear Sir,

You will be hearing from my attorneys, shortly.

I am going to sue your ass for mental contamination, disregard of public safety and malevolent negligence which caused my psyche irrepairable damage having clicked on that last link.

Have you no shame, Sir?

[Cindi]

Have you no shame, Sir?

Posted by: Steel | Friday, December 22, 2006 at 11:58 AM

heh. At least you got the title right ;)