Remembering Taylor Behl

There's a category here for Taylor Behl. While doing some maintenance today I saw this comment come in on an older thread:

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TAYLOR !  I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH.

Realizing it was Taylor's Mother, Janet Pelasara, I wrote and we exchanged a few emails. It's strange being behind a keyboard, not always knowing who is coming and going. But I wanted to tell her that I doubted she was alone, as such a lovely girl was sure to be missed by many.

Janet has invested her emotional energy into writing a book - Love You More, The Taylor Behl Story, which she characterizes as the story of "my life/our life and how it came to a crashing halt". 

The book is due out on November 7th and apparently 48 Hours has been working on a story/documentary on Taylor's story which will air Dec 2nd.

I believe Janet can be reached through Friends of Taylor Behl

Comments

[basils]

abigail: yeah, but bf was looking at his 'subject' in a way sexually that ended in murder. I'm sure the family has better photos

[K]

Taylor means so much to so many people so no it will never be over for them. We stay here as a tribute to Taylor's life...Some people visit a grave and others find different ways to remember the people who have left this world through violence. Taylor's life is worth honouring so from time to time we will come here even if it is just to talk.
Keep Dancing Miss Taylor!

[Janet]

Big victory ! Morchower represented me for 11 days then I fired him. He is something of a big shot in Richmond but did me wrong when he gave out info he had learned while representing me after I fired him.

Mike Morchower made a plea on 2 of the 3 misconduct charges. He will have to publicly disclose that he: 1) revealed information protected by the attorney-client privilege and 2) that he used this information to his advantage and to the disadvantage of his client.

[justathought]

That is wonderful news Janet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And for anyone that does not like the way that we still come here to talk about Taylor and to support Janet then you need not come back! Taylor touched all of us in one way or another. And Janet did as well. Janet is an AWESOME Lady and one of the best MOMs in the World. She never gave up! And she never will give up! She will fight tooth and nail to see that justice is done in every situation dealing with her daughter. I am so PROUD of her actions and I know Taylor is too! I don't know how anyone could ever judge her as a mother knowing how hard she has worked to see that every aspect was covered. Come on people grow up. Not everyone was as blessed as Taylor was to have a mom like Janet!

[vedder]

Hello Janet, just checking in...

I will have your book in my hands in a few days. Again, thank you for writing it.

I still check in all the time and I always look forward to your posts...

Never will I forget you or your beautiful daughter

Love
Vedder

[jill]

Good to see that Taylor is still on so many minds, and in so many hearts!! I think it's time for the Janet-bashers to take a step back and start following another case - Ms. Pelasara has triumphed in obtaining justice for Taylor - and I am so glad this book was written so that the world can know about the loving relationship between this mother and daughter.

I will always have tears for the loss of Taylor, but smiles as well when I think of what a warrior her mother is! Ignore the uglies, Janet - unfortunately the internet attracts some crazies, but the majority of people are clearthinking and understand and admire your tenacity.

[nibblet]

This is taken from what I wrote on CourtTV today.

I read the entire book last night and thoroughly enjoyed it. I did cry during parts and had to put it down for a bit.

If a book doesn't hold my attention it will take me forever to read it. This definitely held my attention and not because of my knowing you and Taylor. I like books about people - biographies, history, some fiction - I'm not into fantasy, sci fi, etc.

The book holds true to Taylor - it is her story with funny little anecdotes of her childhood years, issues she dealt with in her pre-teen/teen years, her relationship with her mom, the search for her in Richmond - up to the day when Fawley was sentenced for her death.

Fawley tried to portray Taylor as someone she wasn't. It always sickened me when I would hear that she was his "lover" or "ex-girlfriend" or that she was into that bondage stuff that obviously he was into.

When CourtTV provided the tapes of Fawley's sentencing I encouraged people to watch them as the prosecution pummelled his ridiculous statements to the police about Taylor, the type of person he tried to portray her as, and what they supposedly did that night. There are several pages in the book of what the prosecution presented that day. It shows what a bizarre person Fawley truly is and why he is in prison.

Janet: I think it is wonderful you wrote this book about Taylor and it is a beautiful tribute to her.

[basils]

I haven't followed the court circuit. How much time did Fawley get for her murder?

[abigail]

basils--30 years....

Went to pick the book up today during lunch and I was feeling anxious because the news was saying it was back-ordered, but Barnes had it across from VCC if anyone is looking. Only have had a chance to look in the middle of the book at stoplights. Everytime I've picked it up to sit down with it this evening I hear, "mommaaaa", so I'll have to wait a little while to get started on it.
Thanks to Janet for sharing with us!
I'm being paged again......:)

[Janet]

Nibblet,
Thank you for that review and I hope others will feel the same way after they have read it. Like I have said before - it isn't a fairy tale and oh, God how I wish it were.

I were to several of the local bookstores and signed the copies they had.

I will be in Richmond at the Virginia Book Store on the VCU campus for a talk and book signing on Monday, November 27th at 7pm.

Love to all,
Janet

[basils]

30 years? Is he eligible for parole at any time? That seems like a paltry sum for such a heinous act.

[Janet]

It is my understanding that at age 65 all inmates are eligible for parole. He actually received 40 years with 10 suspended so, should he "act up" they could add the other 10 years.

[abigail]

Basils--YUP, that's all.

Janet, again I commend your composure and couth. I believe I would have jumped over the benches and tried to have at him myself and if I was in the situation would have honestly believed I had every right to. I'm only sorry (on his side) that his girls have to live with this, but on the other hand it may be better that this "father" is not involved in their lives. I hope they have a solid family circle that will get through this.
Thanks to Erin as well and to all of the people who love, lost and care for Taylor and her family--strangers as well. This could have been anyones daughter, but she became--for our little "village"--"our girl".
Much love to Taylor, Janet, family and friends.

[Peace]

Hi, Janet -
My book arrived and I've read through Chapter 3 so far. I sort of chuckled over the band part. Obviously you were commenting on The Pride of Vienna's first few days of band camp where there are brand new marchers trying to play brand new music while marching at the same time. I hope you've come to enjoy them. These kids work so hard. And they win many awards - including being selected to play at the Virginia Music Educators Association last year - an honor only given to one or two Virginia high schools each year. Of course you must know I'd have to comment on the band as these kids are my full-time volunteer job!

I really enjoyed looking through all of the photos of Taylor and reading about her struggles and triumphs in school. The photos are ones I will continue to look back through.

I also wanted to mention that at the time Mike, Rachel and another student moved in with Ben, Ben was enrolled as a student at VCU. According to him, as I recall, he was waiting for a two-year period to end where he'd lost a student loan (following his 3-month jail time) so that he could re-apply and return to finish college.Not that any of it really matters, just something I thought I'd add.

[Vedder]

As always I see Peace is still trying to bring HER son to the fore front. It just makes me sick how some people try to make EVERYTHING about them!

Posted by: xyz | Saturday, November 11, 2006 at 11:50 PM

You're fucking kidding me right? Did you read the same thing I did?
The woman mearly mentioned that the scumbag was enrolled at VCU, when her son had moved in with him.Yet you somehow read that as, "bringing her son to the forefront???"

That statment was about Ben, and her son just did happen to live with him. Yes, HER SON! Put yourself in HER shoes for two fucking seconds...SHE KNEW the fucking scumbag, he was her son's FRIEND, she talked with him, laughed with him, ate with him and she, like everyone else, was devastated, sickened, and horrified, by what that scumbag did to that beautiful child.

But,unlike the rest of us, who were just horrified and heartbroken observers, the poor woman and her son found themselves in the middle of this fucking nightmare...They didn't ask for this. Do you really think either of them will ever be the same again?

Do you know why Peace is still here? Its because she still fucking CARES man. She always did. And the hurt, anger and pain that this scumbag caused for so many people won't be going away anytime soon man, this, I can assure you...

It's a bit late in the game for 'Peace bashing', isn't it?

Who the fuck are you to judge anyone man, think about it....

[Peace]

Wow, Vedder, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I grow weary with posters like xyz. They have no clue. None at all.

I reread what I wrote and don't see how I was bring anyone to the forefront. If anything, I brought the band into the forefront. Not sure what I've done differently than anyone else. I'm discussing the case. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about Taylor and about the anguish that Janet, Matt, and the rest of Taylor's family and friends deal with on a daily basis. I guess I should start saying "he who shall remain nameless".

xyz, I must wonder what - if any - your ties are to this case? You hide behind your computer and post. It's easy to stand up and make your little remarks from the safety of anonymity. I wonder if you'd be so brave if everyone knew who you were. So I ask you outright - do you personally know Taylor, Ben, Janet, or Matt? I have personally met three of the four and have corresponded with the fourth. Do you really think my ONLY interest is of "he who shall remain nameless"?

Vedder, again, I thank you. You are one of the handful involved in this who truly understands my feelings on all of this.

[Cynthia]

I think Vedder went off the deep end. XYZ expressed an opinion; there was no "Peace-bashing", although I can understand how some people might get tired of Peace's superior attitude and view that Ben Fawley was so good at hiding his nature that everyone who knew him generally considered him to be a nice, if eccentric, guy.

I haven't read the book, but I understand it is more a book about Janet Pelasara than Taylor Behl.

[Peace]

I think Vedder went off the deep end. XYZ expressed an opinion; there was no "Peace-bashing", although I can understand how some people might get tired of Peace's superior attitude and view that Ben Fawley was so good at hiding his nature that everyone who knew him generally considered him to be a nice, if eccentric, guy.

I haven't read the book, but I understand it is more a book about Janet Pelasara than Taylor Behl.

Posted by: Cynthia | Sunday, November 12, 2006 at 06:45 PM

Cynthia - I'm not sure where I've expressed this "superior attitude" nor where I said that Ben "was so good at hiding his nature that everyone who knew him generally considered him to be a nice, if eccentric, guy." While I agree that xyz was expressing an opinion, I think it was clearly meant as a nasty remark - as is your "opinion" of my "superior attitude". You clearly do not know me at all. I merely stated a fact that I don't feel warranted the snide remarks/attacks that followed. I've not made nasty remarks towards anyone else and have tried being respectful of other posts and posters. I would ask the same. If that's considered a superior attitude - well, whatever - I'm not sure how to respond to that. From the very beginning, you have disliked me. That's fine and your perogative. I really don't need your approval. However, I would ask that we all be adults and leave the mudslinging to ourselves. I try to think before I post.

[Janet]

Hello everyone,

Peace I am sorry you were slammed and just to let you know, I don't feel that way. But I can relate to being slammed - I am being slammed all over the place.

I hope those that have read one person's opinion about Love You More will read it for themselves. I have received several comments (from strangers) about the book and none of them mention it being a book about me.

Love to all,
Janet

[Peace]

Thank you, Janet - that means a lot to me. I don't like that ANYONE be slammed. We're all adults. While I believe we are all entitled to our opinion, opinions can - and should - be posted respectfully.

I'm half way through and it's brought back so many memories, as I'm sure it's done for you. I hope that writing this book was healing for you. I really have enjoyed looking through the pictures of your beautiful daughter. Even though her life was far too short, you have so much to be proud of.

[Chicago]

Janet,

Thank you for writing the book. No better tribute or memorial can exist than the loving words and memories of the mother of a lost child. Rahter than having been ripped from exisitence and memory, Taylor will live on through time in your words. And from the gift of your book, we can all learn about unconditional love, strength, family struggles, and the trials of this screwed up world.
I remember playing in the woods for hours and hours growing up-going home to eat and check in, clean up scrapes and comb out the burrs from my hair, only to return to play and climb trees. I am 33 and feel horror and fear at the thought of a world so wrong that my nieces and nephews won't know that kind of freedom. Any one of us could have lost someone-or been lost to our parents. We should be sobered by the means of Taylors loss, moved to love and support for her family and friends, and mobilized to lobby for tougher laws, a reduction of violence (and especially the glorification of sexual violence) in the media, and to "teach our children well".
More than anything, I am glad to see Taylor redeemed as a girl who did her best to make good choices, love herself, and, like any teenager, take risks whose end results were NOT HER FAULT. She has captivated all of us who come here to share opinions. I only wish I could have known her: I'm sure I would have loved her too.
God bless you Janet.

Nicole

[nova]

1: Vedder. Cursing is not nice. Please refrain from using such vulgar language in the future. It detracts from the points you are trying to make. If you have something to say say it in civil language please.
2.Peace. People who disagree with you are not "attacking" you. They are disagreeing with you.
3.Chicago. I agree 100 per cent with what you wrote in your post. Very nice. But I have one question what "risks" do you think Taylor took? I dont think taking risks is a good idea at all. I would tell someone "Take Care". That is what we used to tell each other. Not "take risks".
Janet: I read many posts slamming you on the VCU student message board. I tried my best to defend you and your book but I am afraid the generation gap is alive and well at VCU in Richmond.

[Vedder]

Nova

First of all, I already have a mother, and I will write what I want, the way I want to write it. There was nothing convoluted about my post and you knew exactly the point I was trying to make, now didn't ya?

Second, Peace stated a mere fact, and she is one of the few people that can actually offer details like this. How was that "Trying to make EVERYTHING about THEM?" Now, if xyz would have stated, "no, no Peace, I think you are wrong, Ben was NOT enrolled at that time", THAT would have been "disagreeing" with her. What xyz did was simply attack her. I saw it, Janet saw it, and so did you. I have had enough. There is just no need for it now.
Funny how we haven't heard from xyz since no? Read his post again, and I mean this time actually read it.Tell me again that was simply "disagreeing". There was no disagreement there, it was an out and out slam, Period.

And Janet, I loved the book, I thought it was very honest and real- not that I expected any less from you.I just wish there were more pictures:) Thank you again

RIP baby girl...

[nova]

Vedder: Thanks for not cussing this time around. Yes I thought about it and in that instance of xyz you can say they were attacking Peace not just disagreeing with her. Maybe they were fed up with her just like you were fed up with xyz.But there were some thoughts expressed by xyz that could have been put in a better and more polite way. Just like you should have expressed your thoughts in a more civil and polite way. Were you having a bad day? I went back and read some of your old posts. You used to at least use ****************'s.

[abigail]

Rowbear--VCU removed the flyers as fast as they were going up.
I doubt I would go to a vigil with a bunch of strangers if my child was missing in a different town. I'd be holding one in my hotel room most likely alone, being a basket case That's just my opinion.
As far as the proceeds go, don't buy the book if you're not sure where your money is going. I personally don't care if Janet keeps it all--it would be nice if she did set up a fund, but I'm not going to knock her if she did not. She's keeping Taylor's memory alive. How great for her after all she's been through.
I think Janet asked bf to "watch" out for her kid in a half joking sense in passing on the net. You don't think, 'well, I should not say anything because this person could be a pedofile or murderer'.
Those are just some of my thoughts.

[Chicago]

Nova,

Just making the point that as young adults we all took risks-whether drugs or sex, or merely living on our own. There was no judgement in the word-merely that we all did-and do-take risks, in trusting people with ourselves. We HAVE to- I wouldn't have left grad school, taken a chance with my now husband, or learned the hard way that our closest allies can betray us. Taylor didn't do wrong-we didn't do wrong-the people who betray the trust are wrong.

Nicole

[Chicago]

One more thing-

The proceeds from the book might help Taylor's family recover from what has surely been not only a terrible family loss, but as well from the financial burden of legal fees, etc. We have no right to question, nor to judge how those monies are allocated. To even suggest exploitation on Janet's part shames anyone who utters it.

[nova]

Chicago: I really liked your two posts above. Particularly the comments about the proceeds from the book. About the word "risk". Obviously there is some risk in everything in life. What I am referring to is one of Taylor's friends in Vienna told her when she was leaving to go off to college to "take some risks". She said she later regretted telling her that. I think this was one of the young women she worked with in the coffee place in Vienna,Va. I have heard other young women using that phrase "take risks". When I was young we always told each other "take care". I think you may have a different meaning for what "risks" are from what I do. Be careful is a much better thing to tell anyone starting out.
If you followed the Michelle Gardner Quinn murder in Burlington,Vt. you will know she was not careful. She approached a stranger at 245am and asked to use his cell phone. She was walking alone on a street at the time. I am very disturbed by the loss of these young women. It all seems so tragic to me. And these deaths of young women seem to me to be on the increase and I wonder what is the cause.

[abigail]

Hey rowbear,
Thanks for expressing your opinions as this is what this is for! I did not mean to sound harsh about the proceeds or anything else and I hope you don't think I was being mean as I was just stating my opinion. I've been on here from about the beginning and we seem to all attack each other at times, but I'm really usually not one on the guilty ones! :) Sometimes it's hard to "read" comments when there is no "live voice". I think students "knew" what was going on but maybe not to the extent that Janet did. She knew something was WRONG and VCU is full of kids who want to help and they did the best they could. But then even bf put himself on camera when he was the ONE. He should have been charged with obstructing justice as well. IMO
I'm not sure how many "events" Janet attended for Taylor-- you can certainly ask her, but I'm not sure the numbers matter as Taylor was already gone.
I have a "baby" girl who is 6 and let me tell you it is hard enough letting her go 2 doors down across the street to play. I met the parents, but no I did not ask them if they had records or if they were sex offenders--I can look that up online--at least for registered ones! But I still worry :) My point is, is that as hard as it is to let go at certain stages your heartstringes get tugged. I still go out every ten minutes and make sure Isababy is where I last saw her across the street, but at 17/18 when she goes off to college what are my options? Find a friend of a friend or a relative to check in on her? I think that's all Janet was thinking and just mentioned it. I'm not sure if she knew at that time that bf had daughters or not, but when my kid goes off to play I expect the parents at that house to have a certain amount of responsibility for my young girl because they are parents just as I take responsibility for the kids that come over here--sort of a "parent connection". Different in age difference but I think most parents expect the same from each other when kids are involved no matter young or old.
VT is a bit far from Radford to keep an eye on your sister, but good for you for trying to keep an eye out--just as Janet thought she was doing, but at a college level the kids are basically considered adults. Mom told my brother to keep an eye on me, but he was 15 miles away so he could only do so much, but it was better then nothing being we were 450 miles from Richmond. Been there, done that and I'm really lucky because I made some poor choices, but they were mine and no one else took advantage of me, obviously not to that extent because I'm still here.
My point again, not for really you rowbear, but for all others is that one person killed Taylor. Janet is looking for a way to move one, which I don't know how she does it, but she is doing it. Let it be. Let her be. Dorkette bashing would hurt Taylor.
Ahhh, know how you guys love my essays!:)

[Chicago]

Nova,

You're right about risk-I guess I have viewed risk-taking in a positive light-in the sense that it enables us to explore and to learn. When I was in college, we women said "take care" too-all the time, and did our best to look out for each other. The problem is that I can count a million times when we'd look around a party and a friend is gone-in someone's room, doing what all of us did at college parties. We always did our best to make sure all got home safely, but there's just no guarantee. Even when we use our best judgement, we can be taken advantage of. I remember scores of times my mom had to trust whomever I was running around with-and she didn't know them well enough to hope for that-but she did. Any parent hopes their kids are in good hands, and how natural to think that their friends will "take care".
I don't envy any of you who are parents-I have two nieces and nephews and tremble at the thought of the world they're growing up in. As it is, I still call my husband, mom and dad, in that order, when I get to a hotel on a business trip, etc. Maybe ten years after college I see that I'm not immortal or invincible, the way I did then. God knows I didn't check in as I should have done back in the day. As it happens, the person who betrayed me was a friend of a friend-someone whom I should have been able to trust.
The internet opens doors, and I'm not saying it's not a dangerous tool in the hands of predators, but I think it's also just a flippin' crapshoot. Why did my friend die from hitting a tree while drunk, and I made it home those nights when I shouldn't have? Why was Taylor taken, when it could have been any of us?
Maybe that's the reason we keep coming here-to learn, to celebrate her, and to be reminded, as you said so eloquently, Nova, to "take care".
Good night all,

Nicole

[Love-bug-2]

When I sat down to read “Love You More” I did so with the understanding that the book would tell Taylor’s story from one perspective, the truth according to Janet. I was comfortable with that until I actually read the book. Speaking from first hand experience I know for a fact that some of Janet’s recollections were not slanted but false.
I was also disappointed realizing that the story gave few accounts of who Taylor was. I did not want to read how Janet proposed to Matt, rather, I wanted to remember how Taylor loved to dance to Michael Jackson when she was little. I wanted to read how when Taylor went to Cape Cod and was told she could pick out one souvenir; she chose a pair of long, formal, white gloves. How Taylor loved to pretend she was from England, to the point that she spouted off the finer points of warm beer and used a British accent on her voice mail message. How Taylor went through her learning to cook phase when she took gourmet cooking in high school. She proceeded to made gourmet cakes and “gourmet” mac and cheese, one of her favorites.
But what was most disheartening was the fact that Taylor herself would not have liked the book. Taylor did not like when her parents spoke negatively about each other. Sure Taylor, as most kids do, would express her dislikes about her mom or dad to the other parent when she was not getting her way, or play her parents against each other, but in the end, as Taylor wrote in her journal, (that Jack Gill emotionally read at the hearing), “I am unconditionally loved by my mom and dad. I love my parents with my whole heart…”

[nova]

Love-bug-2: Thanks for your really good post. If you can could you expand it further with more personal memories of Taylor. From your memories you must have known her really well. Can you tell us more stories of her. I really liked what you have to say. Thanks again.

[Peace]

Love bug - I echo nova's thoughts! Tell us more about her. I have this image in my mind of her doing a British accent!

[basils]

Love-bug-2--yeah, tell us more because we know so little but we've all had HUGE speculations about this story, including Taylor's behavior the night of her death. With respect to Janet's book, which I did write, perhaps it was done in a way for her to heal? Perhaps you could write an essay of her, with your memories, and that could help with your pain? Just a thought.

[basils]

I meant to say that I have not read Janet's book yet

[K]

It's been a while since I've said anything here so here I go...
Janet's book may help others. it may be good for young girls to read or family/friends of other murdered children.

Now, about VCU, I have two observations on this subject: Get comfortable this is long.

My daughter was a sophomore at VCU at that time. The previous year she had lived in the GRC dorms (same as Taylor)
On Sept 5th, Labor Day, my daughter was packing her car to return, from Vienna, to VCU at 10:20 PM. By this time, she had her own apartment, just off campus. One of her roommates had decided to move back to the dorms, to save $$. As such, the ex-rooommate went to live in GRC, as an RA.

On Weds morning, September 7th, my sister, who was living in North Carolina, called me, here in Northern, VA. She said her son, my nephew, had been told by his cousin, whose wife worked with a women(Janet P) whose daughter had gone missing from VCU.

This cousin's wife said that Janet was called by VCU and that she immediately went down to VCU in the middle of the night on Wednesday/AM. That indeed occurred.

After hearing this, I immediately called my daughter...no news by Wednesday morning. There was nothing on the VCU ALERTS...I checked...and this was almost 36 hours after Taylor went missing.

Taylor's mother was not notified right away. Taylor was a minor on Sept5th and when her roommate reported that she had not returned for classes the University still waited to call anyone until 1:30 AM on Tuesday night/Weds morning.

I checked the VCU ALERTS and the Richmond Police Website, several times, until 8:30 PM on Thursday night, September 8th.

Finally, around 8:40 PM (Sept 8th and yes, I saved copies)I emailed the VCU & Richmond police to ask why, if a student is missing that no one is alerting the students/faculty/staff and community.

Just before 10:00 PM (Thurs, Sept 8th), my daughter called and told me that Richmond's Local Fox station was finally announcing something about the missing student. (At that point no one knew any of the details.) Now, earlier that day, my daughter spoke to her ex-roommate, the GRC RA. She asked her about he missing student. The RA told my child that indeed the RAs knew but were asked to wait to put out alerts until they were told to do so by their supervisor.

The following morning, I received a call from the Richmond Police, just before 12:00 noon on Friday, Sept 9th. I voiced my knowledge of the case days before and concerns as to why they don't keep the community and students aware when a student goes missing. (Long explanation about students often go off on their own and return within a few days...not uncommon, etc.) He said he hadn't heard anything about it before seeing it on the 10:00 News (Thursday, Sept 8th) I always found it quite interesting that the news broke just about an hour and a half after my bombbasting email to the police.

By Friday morning there was an alert on the VCU Ploice Wesite and students then were aware and immediately coordinating the flyers and then someone did start taking them down. They did go back up but were taken down initially.

I want to add that it took VCU 10 days to respond in anyway to my email!

Now, I think it's great that they are the ones who found Taylor's remains but it must be noted that they didn't even make the Richmond Police aware of their missing student until after I emailed them and the news broke on Richmond's Fox News. That news report broke almost three days after Taylor was abducted by Ben Fawley. 72 HOURS!

That's all I have to add about VCU Police.

[John Kelley]

You people attacking Janet are SICK!

[ignore the witch]

Very much sounds like the person who has been attacking Janet for many, many months. What a skank.

[K]

They have no idea and if they had to walk in her shoes for even five seconds, I think they would have a different point of view.

I can't even imagine what Taylor's mom has had to endure. My daughter was in a minor accident, in Richmond, this week and with me here and her there...it was very traumatic...and Thank God no one was really even injured. Multiply the fear of hearing "Mommy, I got into an accident," hysterical speech and crying coming from your only child by infinite amounts and you wouldn't even come close to what it would feel to loose that child and then...loose them to Murder.

These people who attack parents of Murdered children are just being Evil.

[Janet]

I have just updated www.friendsoftaylor.com

Please stop by and have a read.

Thanks K and John and Ignore the Witch

[K]

As always...Anytime and Janet, you are very welcome.

[K]

BTW, Janet, I love the b/w pic with Taylor and her friend in front of what I think is Jammin' Java. I've never told you this but she looks so much like my girl and especially in that pic.

Maybe I'll stop in at the American Legion, that is the day before my Dad's birthday and before he died we used to go there together, with my daughter,for those $5.00 buffets they have bi-monthly:)
Staying busy it is a good thing.

[John Kelley]

"BTW, Janet, I love the b/w pic with Taylor
and her friend in front of what I think is
Jammin' Java. I've never told you this but
she looks so much like my girl and
especially in that pic."

That's cool,K.
I have a good friend,Cassandra,who is the
spitting image of Taylor. There are several
other very creepy similarities as well,like
she goes to college in a town called Richmond
[Kentucky],and has a boyfriend named
Chris Behl.

[Cynthia]

I don't "dislike" Peace. She just puzzles me. She seems a very hippyish, earth-motherish type who is very accepting of all people and behaviors and tends to see the good in anyone, even if there's not really much good there, or if ANY good is there. And THAT puzzles me. I said that Fawley was a crummy "artist" and that his so-called artwork is a joke. Peace rebutted with that lots of people find certain artworks offensive or worthless, but that doesn't mean the artworks don't have value or that the artist doesn't have talent. When I expressed my view that Fawley hung out with people much younger than himself, mostly young girls, because of his sexual interest in them, Peace retorted that hey, maybe Ben is just an immature guy who was "stuck" at that age, and maybe nobody wanted to hang out with him BUT teenagers. And indeed she has said that Ben Fawley seemed like a "nice" guy, despite all his bizarre behavior, which Peace also defended, saying lots of people who have odd interests (Fawley's were skulls, abandoned buildings, fire, goth, blood, death) are perfectly nice, harmless people. It seems like she looks at all people with the proverbial rose-colored glasses. As for her superior attitude...well, her "do you personally know Taylor, Ben, Janet, or Matt? I have personally met three of the four and have corresponded with the fourth" comment is an example of that. She gives the impression (at least to me) that she considers herself an authority on the people involved in this case. And that is off-putting. Like I said, I don't dislike Peace. It just puzzles me how someone can be so innocent of the reality of people like Ben Fawley. And please, before any of you start raving, I will to clarify that what I express is not a judgement or a condemnation, but an opinion of one.

[Peace]

Cynthia - my apologies if I puzzle you. I'm really not that complicated. I'm pretty much a what-you-see-is-what-you-get person. There's really no need to spend much energy trying to figure it out. I'm just another poster, but one who knows many of the people involved in this tragedy. One who's been through our own sort of hell, although I realize that none of it compares to what Taylor's family must go through or what Taylor went through.

My comment to xyz about knowing anybody involved in the case was not meant to come off as feeling superior. I was being accused of bringing my son to the forefront. I merely stated a fact. It was a fact based on some knowledge of the case, yes, but in no means is it being any sort of authority. I felt that I was somehow not supposed to make any comments about any of it. I've been asked in the past what right I have to comment. I'm not sure why I'd have less than the next person.

Wow - I've certainly never considered myself a hippy or earth-motherish. That made me smile. There aren't a lot of hippies in Vienna. I am most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt. Janet - you've met me - would you describe me as a hippy?

I choose not to judge people just because they're different than me. Let's say my life experiences have put me in contact with many walks of life and I know there to be two sides of every story. So, yes, I am accepting of other people and their differences, likes, dislikes, behaviors, etc. I make my own decisions for myself, but I try not to make decisions for others. What's right for me may not be right for someone else.

I do remember a conversation about art. I hadn't remembered that was with you. I don't keep track. My only meaning of that is that there are a lot of things that one considers art and another doesn't. That's part of being art, I think. But just because one person doesn't like something doesn't make it art.

[Janet]

Peace,
I would not describe you as a hippy. I found you to be a very warm and kind person to me and I admire your dedications to the volunteering that you do. You make a fine cup of coffee and I do look forward to sharing one again with you.
Janet

[Cynthia]

When I commented on that I though Peace was "hippyish", I wasn't referring to her style of dress or appearance. I was talking about her views and attitude. When I was in college at VCU I knew some students who considered themselves hippies; they didn't look particularly like hippies (well, a few did but most they looked like typical Bohemian VCU students) but they felt they had the same attitudes and views of the hippies of the sixties: live and let live, all people are ok, love everybody, have sex with anybody you want, whenever you want. One girl, a sculpture major, even had the nickname "the little hippie Hayden". So when I say I think someone is "hippyish" I don't mean they wear jeans and lovebeads; I mean they have a particular mindset.

[Peace]

Janet, thank you. I'll remember to leave out the hazelnut cream next time! ;-)

Cynthia, I believe in not judging others because they think and behave differently than I do. I do not condone hurting others and have much anger with Ben for robbing Taylor of her future as well as betraying his friends. I still want to know why, but that's my own thing. I was not going to condemn him until I had all the facts and generally play devil's advocate on many issues. I do believe, to an extent, live and let live - provided no one else is being hurt. I believe most people are okay. I don't love everybody - there are many people I have an intense dislike for. I am faithful to my husband and having sex with anyone I want is not for me and I think it's unhealthy, however, I won't judge someone if they choose to live that way - provided no one else is being hurt. So, I guess if that makes me a hippy, then I guess I am. What I find amusing is in looking at the other areas of my life and what I do and I think most would disagree with you about that - some vehemently who actually find me ultra-conservative. I believe in following the rules - whether we agree with them or not.

But, Cynthia, I am curious - I don't understand why you spend so much energy on me? I do mean that in all sincerity and hope it's coming out okay. I really am curious as to why we can't have a discussion about this tragedy and what has happened because of it without being judged or stereotyped or a fight ensuing. I do believe that people should be able to express an opinion. I may make statements based on knowledge I have of this tragedy and I don't mean them to sound "superior" to anyone. I am honestly not certain if I've ever felt superior to anyone in my life.

[Cynthia]

In response to Peace; I honesty don't feel I spend "so much energy" on you. Maybe you feel that way, but occasional comments don't really amount to much "energy". You did touch off some strong emotions in me now and then; I strongly disagreed with a lot of your views on Ben Fawley. From I what I know about him (and I know someone who was well-acquainted with him, but not friends with him) he was bad news, and that was obvious to a lot of people, so I never could understand how you thought he was at one time a "nice" guy. And I never could fathom your making excuses for his odd behavior and propensity for hanging out with teenagers. Maybe because he was a friend of your son's you try to temper his utter grotesqueness. I don't feel you're "ultra-conservative"; you were at one time accepting of Ben Fawley and I don't think any conservative person would have done that. At any rate, I have no ill feeling toward you; I'm just a person who speaks my mind. After all this is a forum to express one's opinion's, isn't it?

[Peace]

Cynthia, thanks for your answer. Absolutely you're entitled to your opinion. I hope I didn't come across as thinking you weren't. The Ben I spoke to was always very nice to me and to others I saw him with. I do understand that not everyone saw him that way. I think that's the way with most everyone. I wasn't making excuses for him - just saw another side of him. I never saw him as grotesque at all. There is no excuse for what he's done. I have worked in the mental health field and volunteered with my mother in my teenage years when she worked in the mental health field. While I believe there are "reasons" behind a mentally ill person's actions, the reasons do not excuse their behavior - they only explain it. It doesn't make it acceptable. I will forever have the vision of the beautiful girl who turned around with the smile on her face as my son introduced us. My daughter will always have the vision of the beautiful girl playing with my daughter's cat. My son will have the most memories. Those memories will always be cherished.