Remembering Taylor Behl

There's a category here for Taylor Behl. While doing some maintenance today I saw this comment come in on an older thread:

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TAYLOR !  I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH.

Realizing it was Taylor's Mother, Janet Pelasara, I wrote and we exchanged a few emails. It's strange being behind a keyboard, not always knowing who is coming and going. But I wanted to tell her that I doubted she was alone, as such a lovely girl was sure to be missed by many.

Janet has invested her emotional energy into writing a book - Love You More, The Taylor Behl Story, which she characterizes as the story of "my life/our life and how it came to a crashing halt". 

The book is due out on November 7th and apparently 48 Hours has been working on a story/documentary on Taylor's story which will air Dec 2nd.

I believe Janet can be reached through Friends of Taylor Behl

Comments

[IRememberTaylor2]

WOW..that is touching. I too think about her often. The story was so very sad and she was such a beautiful young lady.
Its amazing she saw the coverage fo Taylor on your site and left that message for her dear daughter.
GOD BLESS TAYLOR AND HER MOM. I will be sure to look for the book and I hope the story is shown on TV. Please be sure to keep us all updated on when it will be on. Thanks

[Diane]

Dan, Thanks for the picture and your comments. I read Janet's post and it gave me the chills. Janet keep up the work as it will help to channel the anger. Keep talking as you never know who's life you may save by hearing what happened to Taylor.Please let me know when the book is out and the airing of 48 hours.Happy Birthday to the doo wop darlin! I feel Taylor is at peace knowing what her mother has done for her!! God Bless you Janet!!

[iremembertayloralways]

I will never forget Taylor nor her story. Happy birthday, sweet girl. You left too soon, for reasons we will never understand. You touched my heart and made me want to help others. Bless you, Taylor, and family.

[basil]

Well, I followed this story emphatically, and it touched my heart. I hope her mother can find the healing she needs to put this past year behind her.

On another note, I never saw any discussion threads about who took the photos of Taylor that are so prominently shown. I know Fawley was a photographer.

[Dan Riehl]

I never saw any discussion threads about who took the photos of Taylor that are so prominently shown.

A variety of people, but Fawley did take many of the pics of her.

[nova]

I am pretty sure that photo of Taylor you are showing was taken by Ben Fawley at Belle Isle in Richmond. There are others of her like that with the Doo Wop Darlin shirt on that he took also. I believe that is correct.

[basil]

Nova; Dan

Seems like a little house cleaning is in order. I wouldn't want pics of my daughter posted on the 'net taken by the man being tried for her murder. Wierd. The grad pic was most likely taken by a family member. That image does just fine.

[abigail]

ova; Dan

Seems like a little house cleaning is in order. I wouldn't want pics of my daughter posted on the 'net taken by the man being tried for her murder. Wierd. The grad pic was most likely taken by a family member. That image does just fine.

Posted by: basil | Monday, October 16, 2006 at 07:08 PM

I'm torn on this one...I love the "Taylor" in those pictures that bf took (does not mean I give a rats ass about him) --especially the doo wop darlin' one, but then again I would probably want them burned in his face if it was my girl. Not sure, she looked "happy" then and of course beautiful and that was her doing as he just pushed a button. A "photographer" can't make you that way--just shining. I could have shot pictures of that pretty girl with a disposable and she would have still glowed--IMO. I say if Janet wants them down then they should come down....

[Peace]

I agree with you, Abby. They are beautiful pictures of Taylor and I don't think much beyond that of who took them. The "who" took them doesn't matter to me. It's all about Taylor now.

[Nibblet]

Saw this out on the HarperCollins site:

Love You More
The Taylor Behl Story
By Janet Pelasara

Price: $24.95
On Sale: 11/7/2006
Formats: Hardcover

A true story of a devastating loss, a mother's love, and the search for justice in the face of heartbreak

On September 7, 2005, at 3:30 in the morning, the phone rang at the home of Janet Pelasara, in Vienna, Virginia. The call was from a police officer at Virginia Commonwealth University, where Janet's seventeen-year-old daughter, Taylor Behl, had just begun freshman year. Taylor had not been seen since Monday evening, the officer told Pelasara. Within hours, Pelasara was on her way to the campus in Richmond, and two days later her frantic search led her to the door of the man who would later be charged and convicted of Taylor's murder. His name was Ben Fawley. "You don't know anything about your daughter," he said. "She's not the good little girl you think she is."

One night several months earlier, Pelasara had walked into Taylor's room to use her computer. Ben Fawley had been on-line, trying to find Taylor, and Pelasara was quick to identify herself as Taylor's mother. "Now that Taylor will be going to VCU, I hope you will keep an eye out for her," she wrote. "She's only seventeen and this is her first time on her own."

"I'll be glad to," Fawley wrote back.

Love you More is a story that will resonate for parents everywhere. Each year, thousands of mothers and fathers leave their children at unfamiliar college campuses, where they are expected to begin the first phase of their journey into adulthood. And each year, on the drive home, already missing them, these same parents hope and pray that their children will adapt and thrive.

It is also a story that will resonate for students everywhere. In this day and age, where cyberspace has become the place to stay in touch with friends and meet new people, we seldom stop to think that we may be saying too much, and to too many. Before you type that revealing entry, it's wise to ask, Who's watching?

[Janet]

Update on BF's new home and arm:

Keen Mountain
Kathleen Bassett, Warden
State Route 629
P. O. Box 860
Oakwood, VA 24631
(276) 498-7411

This is where the monster is now housed for the next 30 years.

I called the prison and it was confirmed by a guard that had seen him within the past 10 days that he did not have a broken arm. The records office told me that they moved him on Monday to Keen Mountain.

Janet

[Cynthia]

Am I to understand that Janet Pelasara asked BEN FAWLEY, a man she knew nothing about, "to keep an eye out for her"? WHY would she ask a man she did not know to watch over her daughter? WHY?

[Nibblet]

Well, it's good to see that the security level is increasing - Keen Mountain is security level 4. Powhatan was security level 3. In time he can produce goods for the vinyl/silk screening or janitorial industry. He's waaaaay down in the far southwestern part of Virginia.

[Diane]

Cynthia,
Keep in mind this was months earlier and Janet did not know the turn of events that were going to follow with Mr.Fawley.I also remember Matt meeting Fawley and I think he thought Fawley was a nice person.I personally blame our justic system for letting this man on the street and other's like him.They walk free only to harm again and again until a death occurs then it's to late!!! I want to see stiffer laws and these sweet judges who can't seem to sentence these convicted offenders off the bench period. I can understand Janet in finding justice with Fawley's sentence but one day he will be out again and I find that an outrage.Sorry all about my rant but read the papers,watch the news and you hear case after case and it just burns me.

[Peace]

Cynthia - I'm a little surprised by the question and first wonder if you have any children of your own? This is quite a normal thing to say. I've asked many other peers of my kids to keep an eye on my kids - even if I don't know them very well. Talking to Ben at that time - he seemed quite normal and was very charasmatic (sp?) in person. Sending your child off somewhere you want as many eyes on them as possible. There's nothing at all out of the ordinary about Janet asking Ben to watch over her daughter. I also don't believe that it had anything to do with his killing her. He'd already met her by that time. Also asking someone to watch over your child - it's not a binding contract and I really don't believe they take it seriously. They just go with it. They look out for their friends. I am not aware of Ben really taking any responsibility of "watching over her". Ben was enjoyable to talk to at one time - at least while he was on his meds. Their charm, I'm told, is part of their disorder. And Ben, as you may have noticed from the photos, has no trouble portraying himself as a 20-something. I had conversations with him for MONTHS before I realized he had to be in his 30's and only because he said something that dated him - not because he acted that way.

[Cynthia]

Ben Fawley was not a "peer" of Taylor Behl's. I personally would NEVER ask someone I knew zip, zilch, nada about to "watch over" any child of mine. And his answer was chilling: "I'll be glad to". Oh, I'm sure he was very, very glad to "watch over" the pretty young girl. I think he did more than that; I think he stalked her, had a fixation on her. And despite Peace's opinion that Ben Fawley was so skillful at hiding his true nature that most people thought he was a nice but eccentric guy, there were plenty of people who saw him for the freak he was.

[Rick]

Cynthia, you never have had a very good grip on this whole situation and I really doubt you have children old enough to go to the bus stop alone. Janet had never met ben, Taylor left a discussion or chat or whatever opened and Janet saw it. She remarked to someone whom she knew was Mike's friend and her daughter's. Like alot of us who trust our children to pick thier friends, she assumed this was someone in Taylor's peer group. For a 17 yo that's between 15-24 usually. She simply thought, here's Taylor's friend, I'll say watch over my child. You're a bit too judgemental Cynthia and I'm curious whether you actually met any of these people whose lives we're intruding upon?

[abigail]

I think no matter what was said Taylor would become bf's victim. Mom could have told him to stay the hell away from her, but you just can't live your life thinking everyone is out to harm your kids and you can't treat people like they will. Well, I guess you could....
Sorry no broken arm for him, it's the least he deserves...sorry, there I go feeling evil again.

[Rick]

You're right Abby, all any of us can do is to raise our children the best we can and though I might have done some things differently; I'm sure Taylor's parents did not set her up to be a victim.They taught her best they could and she made her decisions from there. Facts are, at that age they are pretty much going to do what they want unless you're standing there with them.

[Diane]

Rick and Abby I could not agree with you more!! Bottom line is nobody thought Ben was a killer.Cynthia,your last line struck me "there were plenty of people who saw him for the freak he was" then answer me why this man was not locked up after choking 3 other females?? If other people saw him for a freak why didn't the police or judge see him the same way??? A murder has been committed and a beautiful life lost. A mother and a father who will never get over the loss of their child and I think they protected her and did everything as a parent they could for her.We all only heard of Mr.Fawley because of this tragic event and believe me there are more out there like him. So instead of worrying about what Janet did or didn't do write your state officials or congress for that matter for tougher laws.

[Peace]

So instead of worrying about what Janet did or didn't do write your state officials or congress for that matter for tougher laws.

Posted by: Diane | Sunday, October 22, 2006 at 07:14 PM

Diane - well said.

Rick and Abby - thank you.

[Cynthia As Well]

Cynthia, In regards to Janet's comment to Ben keeping an eye out for her daughter, maybe we all can't be as perfect as you in the mothering department. When your children reach a certain age, you have a tendency to trust their judgement. How dare you be so critical of a grieving mother. If she had another child, maybe she could call you for advice. Keep up the good work, Cynthia.

[justobserving]

Does anyone know if the proceeds are going towards charity?

[Cynthia]

Ricky boy, you're the one who needs to get a grip. I wonder what kind of father YOU are considering your statement "Fact are that age they are pretty much going to do what they want unless you're standing there with them". That, dear Ricky, is a load of horse manure. You remind me of adult parents who hold drinking parties for their kids figuring that "hey they're going to drink anyway, so why not have them do it in a "safe" environment, like my house"? If you TEACH your kids to be wary of certain types of individuals, instilling in them information that will help to keep them safe, chances are most kids will take it seriously, unless they are naturally rebellious or used to being given a free rein. As for Ben Fawley, there are a lot of people out there like him, men who abuse women, who seek out young girls as sex partners; the police can't just throw them all in jail. Law enforcement is a complicated thing. But it was obvious from Fawley's bizarre behavior and criminal record that he was dangerous. Some people saw that and avoided him. Others thought well, he's weird, but ok. The point in all of this is that parents need to know who their children associate with. To ask someone you know nothing about to "watch over" your child is not safe, not in this day and age. I suppose nobody thought anything of it at the time. That's the way it works. Nobody notices, nobody takes it seriously. Until something irrevokable happens, like an assault or death. Ben Fawley was a time bomb. But on the VCU campus, he was considered to be just another weirdo. It's better to err on the side of safety than to give someone the benefit of the doubt and have that someone do major damage. I don't think the parents of Taylor Behl taught her there is evil in the world. She seems incredibly trusting, which put her at risk, especially at an urban school like VCU, which is teeming with weirdos and criminal types.

[justobserving]

Cynthia, you'll be hard up to find anyone here to talk logic about this case. Fwiw, I agree with you. Sadly, tragically, there were quite a few things that could have been done differently and saved Taylor's life, but in the end, it was Ben Fawley that chose to extinguish her flame too soon. Lesson learned though, know what your children are doing, who their friends are, and yes, she was still a child.

[Rick]

"Ricky boy, you're the one who needs to get a grip."

Actually smart ass, my youngest daughter just turned 27 and like her sisters is a married, homeowning, productive member of society. Each of them made it thus far without quitting school, getting pregnant before marriage or any legal problems, drugs or alocohol abuse. They were taught that they were too special to waste their lives like sheep and let me asure you, their dad would NEVER drop any of them off (even today) to spend the weekend with two men to whom they were not related. They were also taught from an early age that there are consequences for every decision they made, consequences that may affect them the rest of their lives. That said, I was also young once and would never be so stupid as to believe that they will indeed make their own decisions and that they may not be the right ones. My poor girls had it a bit tougher than most of their friends because their dad has spent his adult life scraping up the bodies of children who made poor decisions and I was pretty strict, especially with the oldest.
BTW, about the beer parties in the home bullshit.............I called the law on some parents for hosting one of those. I'd gone over to talk to the dad and he made the mistake of saying "it's JUST beer". I really don't need someone who has obviously not raised teens to tell me what I should've done.

[Rick]

One more thing. Someone with over half a century roaming this planet deserves a little more respect than to be called "Ricky Boy"

[Diane]

Cynthia, Let me be the first to give you the lifetime award for "THE PERFECT MOTHER". I would compare you to June Cleaver but even she had more class in the way she talked to people!!

[Rick]

Diane, It's an unfortunate thing that most of these "perfect" parents, who know their children so well, scream the loudest when their repressed children finally get away from them and go totally wild. Those secret cutters out there who start each day with a joint and end each night with a bottle. They aren't able to make their own decisions because well meaning parents kept a thumb on them all their lives. They get pregnant, sometimes marry at early age just to have "someone to love them" and domestic abuse is ok because that's the way their parents were.

Cynthia isn't wrong, she said pretty much the exact smae thing I did, I just left the judging of Taylor's parents out of it. I'm sure they did what they thought was best and felt their girl was prepared to go out into the world. They have suffered horribly and deserve better than to be second guessed by people who have no idea what they tried to teach their kid. I am absolutely positive that they did not set her on auto-pilot and let her raise herself. It's very, very sad how naive some of us are. I actually know a grown woman who was shocked to learn recently that prostitution is legal in Nevada......she's a grandmother.

[a1116mom]

I was wondering the same as you justobserving. I would find it rather hard to believe that any mother would write a book stickly for profit. Who in their right mind would want to make money off of their childs death? I was also wondering why this book would even be published. Sad to say but young girls are murdered everyday so I do not see what makes this one so special.

[justobserving]

a1116mom, the reason it came to my mind was because just very recently I read somewhere that you can still make donations, not sure where I read that, CTV? Donations for what?

[Cynthia As Well]

Being a close friend of Janets I cannot get over certain things brought up on this site. Book proceeds..profit or charity, judging her and Matt's parenting abilities, saying this could have been prevented, and on and on. I do not think you have any clue as to how deeply you are hurting Janet. She barely gets through certian days and then comes here to maybe find some kinds words about Taylor to discover some people trashing her and questioning what kind of a parent she was. I can tell you first hand she was an EXCELLENT Mother and gave up MANY things in her life to raise Taylor on her own. There was NOTHING Janet would have not done for Taylor's safety of happiness. Before posting anymore negative remarks I suggest you think twice before hitting post. Imagine being unable to do anything you are supposed to be doing because of such deep greif and than coming here to see people talk badly about you. I am sure none of you want to hurt Janet and just were not thinking.

[a1116mom]

Just, I think you must have seen it on the Friends of Taylor site however, the request for monies has recently been removed.

[justobserving]

Cynthia as Well, you sound like a great friend, Janet is lucky to have you. I will say this as gently as possible, as I agree, it is not, nor has never been my intention to hurt Janet- there are forums and mediums, more healthy for a greiving parent to go to for solace and comforting, kind words. I myself would like to discuss this case and others without being scolded, I didn't walk into Janet's family room and start saying things that may hurt her. I wonder, do you follow other cases and scold those that may be criticizing? Do you visit the Trenton boards and scold those that are criticizing Melinda's parents, grandparents and friends? Did you vehemently defend Beth Twitty? Good on you for being such a good friend, but perhaps a good friend at this time would suggest not torturing oneself even more and seek help from those that will be only surrounding her with kind words. Support groups, grief groups, parents of a murdered child groups, coming here I've witnessed that she has supporters and friends, but you have to admit, it's masochistic to continue returning.

[Nibblet]

Bravo Cynthia As Well!!! I, too, am a Janet friend and I have been utterly disgusted and appalled by the things that have been not only WRITTEN about her but ACTIONS DONE TO HER by some of these so called humans. Some of these people truly need professional help - and they know who they are. I have no idea what will be done with the proceeds and I don't care as it simply is none of my business. For those of you who are so damn judgemental, don't buy the book. What goes around comes around. I sat in that courtroom in Mathews and when all was done my first thought was, "Thank God the prosecution has taken the first steps in restoring Taylor - her reputation and essence." I'm sure the book will continue to do the same in Janet's tribute to her daughter.

[Cynthia As Well]

Justobserving, first I am sorry if you felt I was scolding as that was not my intention. And no, I have not been to any of the other boards that you had mentioned. To you and others yes, it might seem odd Janet continues to come to this site knowing some of the replies might upset her but there is reason behind what she is doing. In her world people have stopped talking about Taylor thinking they will upset her. Taylor is on her mind at least 22 of the 24 hours of a day. She can come here knowing Taylor is the topic of conversation as she is in her heart and mind. My sister and aunt both have lost and child so I am very familar with the actions of grieving mothers. My aunt would take a bag of shaved hair of her sons and smell it everyday for at least a year. My sister would read the coroner's report of her son's death over and over. Was this normal or good for them....of course not but it was their way of dealing with what happened that turned their lives upside down. I do not know if you have children but having 3 of my own I cannot even fathom what I would do loosing one of them. I keep telling Janet do whatever it takes to help her get by. If it is reading this site well that just the way its going to be.
Hi to you Nibblet. We met at the Nationals opening day.

[Wpenn00]

OKAY enough is enough. Why do people continue to come hear and talk about this case anymore? The poor child has been buried and the creep has been but behind bars so thats it. IT IS OVER. How about all of you moving on to a more current case and let this one rest.

[justobserving]

Wpenn00- people care, Taylor touched people. How about YOU don't come here and read what we write? Anyone holding a knife to your throat and threatening that you'd better read Reihl's open forum about Taylor? Wankerspoilsport.

[Nibblet]

Hey Cindy! I knew that was you!

[basils]

I'm still disturbed over the use of the pics, especially in light that Ben took them. The reason they are good is two fold: Ben allegedly had ezcellent equipment, and he liked what he saw. The latter is enough to remove them.

[nova]

I think it would be cathartic for Janet to write her book. It would also be a way to tell others about her daughter. Many who followed this case would surely be interested.

[justobserving]

basils, if you go to www.friendsoftaylor, site that Janet is using (maintaining?), you'll see that she has pics BF took as well. Thanks for your thoughts and sharing them, CynthiaASwell.

[abigail]

OH MY! Here we go again! I for one won't let the flame of Taylor be blown out. She may be "gone", but that does not mean she is forgotten. People talk about lost loved ones all the time, and although many of us did not know Taylor, we still care. So if you don't want to read the posts then don't visit, if you don't want to read the book then don't. I really don't care if the money goes to Janet, other victims families or not. I just know I want to read it and I will. I think if Janet and the family could give all the proceeds to God and get Taylor back they would, but unfortunately that's not how it works.
As far as teaching our kids right from wrong and all that, we can teach until we are blue in the face but then they go off on their own...I was a wild child in college and made some bad decisions that my parents would not be proud of. I turned out okay though because I obviously did not run into a murderer. I thought Taylor was trying to avoid bf in a "polite" way, which her parents probably taught her as well. Geez, I can't express to my daughter enough to be respectful of her peers and not hurt their feelings even if she does not care for their company. I'm not going to tell her they are "freaks" because they may be different from her and run and tell someone. Most of you know how old child is, so when do you start changing your mind as a parent about teaching your child how to handle those people that are "different" meaning perhaps not the best person to hang with? It's all so confusing! :)

[Rick]

Abby; Your best bet is to keep that moppet in the house, throw the tv and puter out the door and have no visitors. Of course when she finally does leave at 30-40 years old, she will be totally ill equipped to handle real life. So up til then teach that anyone who does not look just like mommy and daddy are of "de debil" and not to get closer than yelling distance to anyone.

[abigail]

Piglet--I know, I'm doomed! I have to say I am doing much better as far as letting her "go". I now let her go two houses down to play in the neighbors yard! Of course I go out every ten minutes to make sure she's where I last saw her!

[John Kelley]

WANTED:
More people like
JANET PELASARA!

One of the most remarkable ladies I've
ever seen.

Like mother,like daughter?

[busy bee]

Only the best to Janet-- we will never know how her advocacy after Taylor's murder is helping other children RIGHT NOW. I have a daughter(much younger than Taylor) but one day I hope she will go out into the world too---and I hope she will be safer because of people like Janet. P.S. On my desk at work I have an angel figurine --each wing has a "quarter sized" smiling face shot. One wing has a picture of Samantha Runion on it and the other wing has the eternally smiling face of Taylor.

[abigail]

Janet IS awesome! Don't know how she does it and I'm positive she has her "private" moments when she goes bonkers. Losing a mom is hard enough for me, but to lose a child to a craphead must be a million times worse. Don't know how she does it. God forbid I lose my girl before I'm gone but Janet will be the first person I try to get in touch with, just for advise on composure and advise. This woman seems to be a rock.
We love you Janet and we love Taylor.

[abigail]

I'm still disturbed over the use of the pics, especially in light that Ben took them. The reason they are good is two fold: Ben allegedly had ezcellent equipment, and he liked what he saw. The latter is enough to remove them.

Posted by: basils | Wednesday, October 25, 2006 at 05:39 PM

Basils--

It appears that some photos bf took are on friendsoftaylor.com which is apparently a site Janet, family and friends set up. If it's okay with her then it's okay with me. Taylor made the shots beautiful, not bf. I myself have a decent camera, but it's about my subjects and my equipment that make my photos good, not me and how I click that button.

[John Kelley]

I think I should add...
---
WANTED:
More people like
Our Angel
TAYLOR MARIE BEHL!