Holloway Suspects Could Face Extradition

Based upon information provided by Private Detective Jamie Skeeters using new proprietary image analysis software, it has been discovered that Joran Van Der Sloot and both Kalpoe brothers were present on the infamous Grassy Knoll in Dealy Plaza, November 22, 1963 - the very day former President John F. Kennedy was assassinated.

"I'd like to see those damned Aruban's try to cover this one up," said a re-energized Beth Twitty, who went on to suggest that at the very least this should require the US Government to re-open the Warren Commission so that the boys can be extradited to the US to testify as to what they were doing in Dealy Plaza that day.

When asked how it would have been possible for the boys to be present anywhere in 1963, Skeeters suggested that their ages have been mis-reported all along. "It's Aruba," he said. "That's a very slow moving, laid back island and people don't appear to age as fast as they do in the United States." Skeeters estimated the boys actual ages as somewhere between 60 - 65, making all the boys at least eighteen at the time of the Kennedy assassination.

"I think we've finally got'em," said Skeeters. "You have to get up pretty early in the morning to put one by me, " said Skeeters. "That was as true in 1963 as it is today. If anything, I get up even earlier these days since the prostate started acting up", said the retired Chief. Though research indicates he retired as a Commander, not a Chief of Police from the Oxnard police force.

I was a police commander, retired from the Oxnard Police Department, in Ventura County, California. Then I became chief of police for the Ventura County Community College District (VCCCD) for a short period of time.

It's unclear what led to such a short tenure for Skeeter's as the community college chief of police, however, it might have been the pressures of fighting serious crime at such a high level. One look at the FAQ page of the VCCCD police website serves to prove just how incredibly demanding those responsibilities may have been for the private eye:

1. I want to contest a parking citation. What do I do?

2. Where is the Lost and Found Office?

4. How do I get a parking permit?

5. Is there an escort program?

6. Can I carry pepper spray on campus for protection?

7. Do you jumpstart vehicles and assist motorists in getting their keys out of their locked vehicles?

A: Yes. We have a portable jump-start box that enables up (sic) to get your vehicle started if the problem is a dead battery.

Behind the scenes sources are speculating that if the boys do enter the US, Skeeters intends to place a traffic boot on their vehicle until he gets the answers he seeks. "You just can't run away from ol' Skeeters with one of those bad boys on your front right", said Skeeters.

President of the California Association Of Polygraph Examiners, or CAPE - more of Skeeter's compelling detective work can be read about here:

Skeeters recalled one powerful, wealthy man who came to see him because he was certain his wife was having sex with the family gardener. Although he advised the man to be more general in the questions, the husband insisted that Skeeters specifically ask the wife whether she had committed adultery with their gardener.

The wife passed the test, Skeeters said, and the couple left. A few weeks later, however, the husband returned and asked him to retest the wife ---- this time asking her if she had committed adultery with any other man.

When the wife came into Skeeters' office, she told him, "I think we have a problem," Skeeters said. "I won't pass the test, because I'm having sex with the pool guy, not the gardener."

Pool men and Gardner's for wealthy soccer moms throughout all of Southern California are said to start shaking in their boots when they hear Jamie Skeeters is in town. And that goes for some fair number of tennis pro's, too.

This post is a satire and is entered in the humor category. Quotes are not actual quotes of any named individuals.

Comments

[Cindi in PA]

You have out done yourself now Dan. LOL.

Can't wait for the response. My vision, 999 posts by 2AM.

[scubajap]

ROFLMAO

[Gina]

Maybe they know where Jimmy Hoffa is.

[George]

Good job, Dan!

ScubaJap,

MIP6 and Ringo are members of http://www.nataleeholloway.net/forum_topics.asp?FID=1 and http://www.rjames.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=6 . Ringo is also the owner of numerous websites including http://www.spidercode.com/about.html and http://64.69.33.211/nh/clauson.html and apparent owner of Natalee.US domain. It is widely-assumed at nataleeholloway.net that he is a provider of "behind scenes information" for Beth Twitty and, IMO, he may have been "Shango" at some time.

[cathy]

ROFLMAO...

[newswatcher]

Too funny. Maybe the Arubans have perfected a secret Aloe formula to stay forever young.

[gagal_05]

Hilarious!!!

[George]

P.S. I sense humor; though my comment above is not it.

[JustMe]

Bwahahaha!

[Bigfish]

Thanks Dan!

Bigfish

[farmgirl]

I still beleive there was an assassin behind the fence on the grassy knoll that November day in Dallas.

LHO was just too pat a patsy..

Why did Tippett get shot?

Who did he know and what did he know?

I always figured he was LHO's ride from the bridge at the depot to the spot on East 10th where he was shot.

I know ..this one was a joke..but we coming up on the anniversary of that November day..and that was the grand daddy of all coverups.

Might be why or what interested me in the NH story ..having survived living in Dallas in 1963...

The first thing that caught my interest in the NH story was "son of an influencial judge on Aruba"..

well turned out he wsn't a judge..but still obvious he was influencial.

[Fish&Chips]

LOL! Real nice!!

Now we need Skeeter on the Hoffa case.

[newswatcher]

LOL! Real nice!!

Now we need Skeeter on the Hoffa case.

Posted by: Fish&Chips | Oct 16, 2005 12:16:03 AM

Maybe he could get Jimmie to talk.

[sensible]

Thanks! We needed that...

[Smokey]

So I bet he knows where Osama is and The Colonel's Secret recipe too.

Oh Skeet Skeet G**Damn

[Michelle]

bad taste

[wreck]

This is one big f'n joke to dan. Not to me.

[splashtc]

Very funny. Needed a laugh. Things were getting pretty serious at PT.
Though you were going for a desperate housewives thing though with the gardener.

[Dan]

This is one big f'n joke to dan. Not to me.

That's ridiculous, wreck. You need to lighten up after four months. And if I am disappointed with some of the players who have been broght to the table in this and say so with humor, so be it. That has nothing to do with how serious I take resolution of the case.

You aren't going to solve anything without some perspective - and many people seem to have lost that, perhaps even from the start.

[Smokey]

This is one big f'n joke to dan. Not to me.

Posted by: wreck | Oct 16, 2005 12:27:30 AM

Humor is good for the soul. Dont like it, dont read it, but face the truth, and live your life man, the guy put it up for shits and giggles thats all.

[trollwatcher]

ScubaJap,

MIP6 and Ringo are members of http://www.nataleeholloway.net/forum_topics.asp?FID=1 and http://www.rjames.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=6 . Ringo is also the owner of numerous websites including http://www.spidercode.com/about.html and http://64.69.33.211/nh/clauson.html and apparent owner of Natalee.US domain. It is widely-assumed at nataleeholloway.net that he is a provider of "behind scenes information" for Beth Twitty and, IMO, he may have been "Shango" at some time.

posted by George

George, aren't you Ringo? Spreading more self serving propaganda, I see...get a life, man...

[redpetals12]

I'm all for humor when the situation warrants it. This is disrespectful to a family suffering beyond any of our imagination.

[YouKnowWho!]

Only the utmost respect for the suspects, can't even call Joran urine but in another post you made fun of Beth's last name. So commentators must show respect for the suspects at all times and for your 'friends" in the Aruban tourism industry but you are free to make jokes about this tragedy and to make fun of the Twitty's family name. I just sent this to Dave. Let's see how funny he thinks it is.

Odd you only laugh at one side, Dan. Fair and balanced you are not but then we have known that since you did the 180 degree turnaround. You really will do literally anything to attract hits to your site. So why can't anyone poke a little fun at the suspects or your stooges you have post? Humor is not a one way street. You said you would ban anybody for using variations on the names of the suspects but Twitty is the funniest thing ever, right? How much did your integrity cost, anyway?

[GrannyToad]

Ugly. Unecessarily ugly.

[Dan]

You really will do literally anything to attract hits to your site.

Look moron, were that true I would have stopped all coverage of aruba when the taylor behl story broke. Too bad you can't appreciate how few are the people paying attention to the Natalee disappearance any more and how many of them turned off to it precisely because of the actions of cable news and certain family members.

What I can't believe is how you can buy this skeeters / dr phil crap. And Granny - tyhat's what is ugly in this, not some piece of satire aftr 4-5 months.

[doesanyoneremembernatalee]

Keep Digging Dan. The truth is coming out, one story at a time.
I wish someone would give you a tv show. Then you could call some of these idiots like Skeeters to the show and ask them some hard questions.
I think what is going to shock the world is how the case ends.

[ParadigmShift]

What I can't believe is how you can buy this skeeters / dr phil crap. And Granny - tyhat's what is ugly in this, not some piece of satire aftr 4-5 months.

Posted by: Dan | Oct 16, 2005 12:53:31 AM

Amen!

[Michelle's Right]

Were the misspellings and punctuation errors posted intentionally, or were you half asleep when you wrote this? I wonder how Natalee would feel about this satire.

[Aunt Em]

Dan, I love your blog and respect your opinions, but that entry pretty much shocked me.

It really went beyond disrespectful. And while I havent commented on the people that have been disrespectful to you regarding the lack of evidence on Joran, I do think you need to check yourself a bit. I think you are great, and have great respect for what you write, but I have to agree with other posters here that are detracting. I am not a detractor dont get me wrong, but that was mean spirited, and uncalled for.

But its your blog, I am just giving my opinion. Sorry if it insults you because that isnt the intention.

[bizman12]

If you can't laugh at this then you just can't laugh at anything.It was funny as all get out.

In case any of you can't remember what you just read.It is not about Natalee or her family so how can they be offended by it?

It is aimed directly at the credentials of one Jamie Skeeter.

It is obvious that the tape has been inspected by the FBI and the Aruban ALE by now and no action has been taken.What will the Twitty Brigade say on TV next week to defend the shenanigans of Jamie Skeeter.

The only way that farce of a tape is going to garner any authenticity is if Deepak holds a press conference and declares it to be the gospel.Believe me folks that will not happen simply because the details on Skeeter's tape are not authentic.

Carry on Dan,humor is a good thing.

[wreck]

October 15th 2005 -- RWV officially "jumps the shark." Dan has been whining about "Journalism", now he goes and proves his site is a joke - not to be taken seriously. That's fine -- it is HIS joke.

[bizman12]

Wreck,
Just because you're a wreck does not mean that Dan has wrecked.He is doing one helluva job reporting all kinds of stories,not just the Holloway case.There are more tragedies than just the Holloway tragedy.I might remind that we do not even know if a tragedy exists in the Holloway case.But rest assured Jamie Skeeter is on the case.

[tennessean]

Not funny, not in the least. You can dislike the parties involved, the family members, anyone you want, but this post borders on cruel. Sarcasm is the protest of people who are weak, you know!

[Kay]

Dan, that is hysterical! This is one of the funniest things I've ever read (if not the funniest). It does one's soul good to laugh every once in awhile. And your site is not a joke, but Jamie Skeeters sounds like one :)

[iquitos]

i was hoping somebody would put this "expert" into the proper perspective. i suspect he was a free lancer and shopped his product to phil phd.

[shonane]

I just sent this to Dave. Let's see how funny he thinks it is.

Posted by: YouKnowWho!
============================
Oh, you really sound like a caring person???????
You response reminds me of the bratty little tattle tell girls in elementary/middle school, who always wanted to try and get somebody in trouble, threating to tattle to the teacher about dumb things, and then doing it. Guess what - the teachers can't stand this type kid, and the kids feel the same way. Yuck!

[shonane]

threating

That word above is threatening.

[Dan]

But its your blog, I am just giving my opinion. Sorry if it insults you because that isnt the intention.

AUnt Em - I don't have a problem with people taking issue with what I post as you did - I understand the point. Just because I don't have the patience for some who attack as opposed to simply take exception. But part of that post, though mostly about skeeters - also comes from growing weary of attacks on the boys without real evidence. I'd like to see some who are so quick to attack me be objective for once on that issue. As for Skeeters, doesn't it bother anyone that for all intents and purposes he would have you believe he is a retired chief of police, when in reality he was a commander on a reletively small force in Oxnard Ca. And was only ever a chief for some community college LE that dealt with traffic violations? Sorry, he is misrepresenting his experience, I can't find any significant case he has ever been a party to - yet, because he is a FOB friend of Beth, God forbid anyone point that out. Sorry, I believe that's the far greater wrong in this instance, than my satire.

[shonane]

It is obvious that the tape has been inspected by the FBI and the Aruban ALE by now and no action has been taken.What will the Twitty Brigade say on TV next week to defend the shenanigans of Jamie Skeeter.

The only way that farce of a tape is going to garner any authenticity is if Deepak holds a press conference and declares it to be the gospel.Believe me folks that will not happen simply because the details on Skeeter's tape are not authentic.
Posted by: bizman12 | Oct 16, 2005
=======================
I really do feel for Beth if it is not authentic, and that does seem to be possible. I assume that she initially thought that it was. I am guessing by now that the FBI has told her that there are problems with it. She has really been jerked around with all of these false leads. If it isn't authentic, what kind of liability will Jamie have for putting it forth as valid?

[kin]

Can we get a satire on the 'other' side? ALE provides way more joke material then Skeet anyway. They always have so what took you so long? I'm sure I won't find that funny either because I don't think there's anything to laugh about regarding the NH case. But will the 'other' side be laughing then? Something tells me they won't but we'll see if you do dare to be fair.

[JustMe]

"...yet, because he is a FOB friend of Beth, God forbid anyone point that out."

FOB = Friend of Bill? Pardon my confusion -- what does "FOB" stand for?

[Aunt Em]

Im sorry Dan, I have gotten sidetracked from Natalee and her poor mom, probably because no news.

I know nothing of skeeters, I know nothing about it so maybe I shouldnt have posted that I was shocked until I find out about them.

I apologize if you were insulted, I just felt really bad for Beth. Still do, no matter what she does I dont think she deserves to be made fun of.

[kin]

FOB=Friend of Beth. He's being attacked for working on her behalf. That makes him the enemy. It's happened to all of them.

[honey]

Not funny, not in the least. You can dislike the parties involved, the family members, anyone you want, but this post borders on cruel.
Posted by: tennessean | Oct 16, 2005 2:14:32 AM

Cruel to whom? The only person connected to the T-Hs
who's likely to see it is Dave, because YouKnowWho
goes out of her way to send Dave everything that might
hurt him. Now *that's* cruel.

[duck fan]

DANS a HACK

[*flo*]

ScubaJap, MIP6 and Ringo are members of
http://www.nataleeholloway.net/forum_topics.asp?FID=1 and http://www.rjames.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=6 .
Ringo is also the owner of numerous websites...
It is widely-assumed at nataleeholloway.net that he is a provider of "behind scenes information" for Beth Twitty and, IMO, he may have been "Shango" at some time
Posted by: George | Oct 16, 2005 12:05:31 AM

George, aren't you Ringo? Spreading more self serving propaganda, I see...get a life, man...
Posted by: trollwatcher | Oct 16, 2005 12:34:20 AM

trollwatcher...George struck a nerve did he? You're right;) Be interesting to know reason for George's logic without having to register with the NataleeHolloway.net forum.
George, You care to elaborate, is it the hack job Clauson vs Cali case? re: George's 10/02/05

Dan,

I admire that you have finally come to very those terms (large-scale fraud on America) for which I was three months outcast at every popular Internet site including yours and http://www.rjames.com/forums/member.php?u=42.

Good luck in your endeavor!

P.S. I too have followed this case very much and collected wealth of information. Feel free to e-mail if you like to exchange some, Dan.

Posted by: George | Oct 2, 2005 9:24:15 PM

[duck fan]

What a waste of time Dan, were u giggling like a school girl while u tastelessly wrote this???? What would your mother think? You should probably go upstairs and ask her... Im sure she wouldnt approve... You are critisizing the MSM when apparently u are no better. They were only reporting what they were told by aruban LE and spokespeople. The "riehl" critisizim belongs there.

[c]

Thanks, Dan

we needed this.

[Brooke]

Good job Dan. The Beth-lovers don't get it. They think this is disrespectful to what and whom??
From day one the Beth-vigilante-entourage came on the scene like a attack dog and they decided who was guilty BEFORE they were proven innocent.
They decided from hours they discovered NH wasn't on the flight that the 3 were guilty of God's know what and found an accomplice in Greta to prove the 3 GUILTY
BEFORE they knew where NH was and before they knew what happened to her and the rest escalated to the most ridiculous spectacle ever seen.
Scarborough, NG, and Greta are trying to revive a non-story and it isnt working, BT Lost all credebility from day one. BT and her entourage of talking heads and her vigilante groups, they and they alone are responsible for the case going bad.

[Shari]

Dan,
I think you've sunken to a level of being pathetic. You won't be happy until all the Beth supporters leave your blog. I keep coming back here for the latest information, not to be verbally abused. How you can make a joke out of something so tragic, is beyond my comprehension. I think that if you have nothing new (and accurate) to add to this story, you should eliminate it from your blog altogether. And once that's done, all of us Beth supporters will disappear. But that's not what you want, so you continue to post this nonsense. Sad.