MySpace: Teen "Bloggers" Rated R

To see her daughter's site, Marcy had to sign up with a service named MySpace.com. When she did, she found her daughter's page, personal information, and pictures.

But she also found a list of her daughter's friends, and made another discovery -- almost all of her 8th-grade classmates at George Washington Middle School in suburban Ridgewood, N.J. had pages on MySpace. "And their pictures are very provocative," Marcy said. "There's shots with their butt in the air, with their thongs sticking out of it. They squeeze their elbows together to make their boobs look bigger."

Kids, blogs and too much information - MSNBC.com.

Comments

[Concerned]

Yikes! My youngest sister lives in that community. They lost a few people in the 9/11 WTC tragedy.It is extremely affluent and definitely kid-oriented. it is a place I would love to have raised my kids if I had lived in that area!

[Cindi in PA]

It is not even safe for a child/teen to have a profile on their screen name. When they create a profile, it leaves them open to being contacted by anyone and everyone. A few years back my daughter had her high school sports listed on her aol profile. One night she was online and got an instant message from a guy claiming to be a member of the next town overs fire department. She at first answered the IM thinking she just might know this person. He told her he was 22 and when she said, Im 16 he went on to explain that was not a problem, she was old enough to consent to being with a 22 year old. She was smart enough to say too this person.......oh you must know my grandfather, he's a detective on the township police department. She never heard from him again.
The next evening I went over to the fire department this guy claimed to be a member of. The Chief who is a friend of mine, assured me he would look into it. He later contacted me saying, he could not fix the screen name of the poster with anyone in the department, but he would address the issue at their next meeting. I have all my kids passwords, even now that a few are over 18, I still go on their accounts and check their email, their favorite places (a few times I was shocked at what I found). Even on the net, you have to stay 5 steps in front of them.

[FloridaPatty]

This mom isn't alone. I did the same thing. I track the goings on of my daughter, her ex boyfriend who is constantly in and out of the picture for the past few years..THAT was the big surprise. This seemingly innocent guy who comes across as just being a soulful one in search of himself is the fetish king by night. Friday nights to be precise.

This isn't 1939 anymore and we aren't on a farm in Kansas.

[JustSayNo]

I disagree with one of the "experts" who stated in the article. Yes, parents CAN and SHOULD cut off internet access if kids use it in an inappropriate way. Then don't let them go to a friend's or relative's house to use it, either. If your child can't drive a car safely, do you give him/her the keys to cruise around town? NO. Why, then, would you give your child free reign in cyberspace? I caught my teenage niece switching screens, etc., when I entered the room ONCE, and we ended her internet usage (at my home and hers) right then and there.
What ever happened to "live in my house, live by my rules"? When did parents become afraid to say, "NO"?

[ev]

My daughter uses her Internet time which is one hour supervised she's 14 and she needs to be responsible. I have lectured her about lurking sexual molestors so we monitor that 1 hour that she has every night. If she ever abuses it she will be cut off period end of discussion for her.

[clintcarter]

So all the 8th graders put down that they are 18 and in Ridgewood High?

[Jamini]

There's another teen web blog out there called Xanga.com. My freshman daughter learned about it since starting high school this year....I assited my daughter with setting up her site which is mainly a way for kids to express their individuality is pop culture and music etc....She is not allowed to post any pictures and she can only use her first name. Although most of the kids use these sites appropriately, I have learned many shocking things about some of the kids (mostly girls) that she has grown up with. If these girls parents only knew what pictures, language and postings these kids put up for the world to see.....

In less than a month since putting up the site, the only negative aspect that we've encountered is that these sites can also become targets from other kids, most of what I would call "mean girls". My daughter is a cheerleader this year and as I warned her she would gain both positive and negative attention. There are a couple mean girls who have attacked her verbally on her site recently. I review her site a least 2 or 3 times daily. I also preview and approve any posts that she makes on her site. I've taken action and have blocked those negative users from posting to her site or even viewing any of her posts. I have kept a log of these postings though.....just in case.

My daughter and I talked about the negative impact this site has brough to her in such a short time. She never really realized how some of the kids she sees everyday at school behave. My daughter is reserved by nature so the negative attacks caught her by surprise. We have even discussed taking the site down. We have agreed for the time being that she can keep it up...but that if I will continue to review it daily. I explained that we would readdress the issue should any other negative postings appear.

[USAUT]

I know, this is all pretty scary. I went to a Bar Mizfa (not sure how to spell it) just about 3 months ago and I was shocked to say the least! All these girls were 12, 13, 14... and not only was it a bit shocking to see them all in their best dress, hair and make up, but to see them dance!?!?!? I mean... out of control. The sad thing is/was that all these parents were right there,- I could only imagine what goes on when there are no adults around. But then again, I grew up with Madonna being scandulous and my parents thought that was bad. Look at all the MTV music videos now a days. I mean - come on! There is nothing innocent about it anymore. I am only in my early 30is, and swore I would never "become my mother" and I find myself wanting to be even more outraged then she ever was.
I dont know, but it was a rude awakening for me. Not that I thought non of this was going on, but I thought, at that age, it was still a little more innocent then it was. :( Very sad! Very sad indeed when children think they have to rush childhood!

[USAUT]

Jamini, good for you! It obviously is never ever to early to educate our children. Its just sad that we have to do this at such a tender age!
Does it sound bad that I am thinking ... thank you for giving me 2 boys, rather then girls! I dont know...?

[Jamini]

USAUT:

You're certainly right as far as having boys....they aren't as mean to each other.....I have a young son too....he's much more active than my daughter was. I can hardly keep up with him.

Good luck with your boys....there's alway more worry though when they start driving.......

[USAUT]

How right you are... and here I am, trying to get through the first day of Kindergarten and pre-school in 2 weeks! LOL :)

[myself]

I have a www.myspace.com profile as well and I think the site administrators need to do some serious screening... especially since it was just bought by Fox (tv) a couple weeks ago. They do not allow kids under 16 to have profiles there, so the kids jsut lie and everyone (who wants to believe it) just goes along with it. Maybe they should allow younger people to have profiles, but just without pictures or something.. obviously they would sign up for the adult account, but at least the modest kids who really dont want to show off their prepubescent bodies.... or really young adult bodies.... no real safe solutions though, so jsut try to keep your children away,, parental controls, no computer in the bed room, no names on sites my name does not appear anywhere in my myspace profile, and if I ever get a comment with my name on it I delete it immediately b/c everyone in the world can see your comments....

[ParentsJustDon'tUnderstand]

If these girls parents only knew what pictures, language and postings these kids put up for the world to see.....

Posted by: Jamini | Aug 23, 2005 10:20:11 AM

The parents have NO CLUE what is going on. My parents had NO CLUE what I was doing when I was a teenager. The little they did know got me into a lot of trouble. The abundance of things they did not know could have gotten me hurt or killed!

Like another poster said, I swore I too would never become my mother; I also grew up in the Madonna years. However, I agree with Hillary Clinton on ONE thing (child protection is pretty much the only subject I agree with her on)...it takes a village to raise a child. I would have no problem calling a fellow parent and without being judgmental, point them in the direction of these sites so they can judge for themselves. Almost ALL teenagers are going to do something when they see that supervision is not in place. It starts out with a teenagers' curious nature to see what he/she can get away with and pretending to be adult-like, and before you know it, someone gets carried away and it becomes extremely real and dangerous.

Don't just sit there before it's too late! Do something. I am going to do everything in my power to preserve the innocence of my children and their peers. If that means "butting in" to someone else's business, fine. I would hope that a parent would make me aware. Some parents are just oblivious to what can occur on the internet. The parent can like it or not like it that I made them aware. I can't imagine ANY parent of a teen girl being okay with their daughter baring herself for all to see. This idea that really took off about fifteen years ago when I was a teen regarding individuality and personal growth did not mean take away all the boundaries needed to raise a responsible child. And as far as social networking on the internet is concerned, what teenager needs over 100 friends? Friendship is a sacred choice and that choice has been obscured by an internet fad gone awry. It tricks them into thinking because they have spoken with so-and-so a few times and so-and-so is really good friends with so-and-so, and well, it just gets more and more dangerous. I commend the parents here who do supervise what their children are doing. It is tough to stay on top of things because just when you get the hang of the new technological craze, something else comes along that replaces it. I think one of THE BEST ways to snoop without getting too personal is to visit teen chat rooms, and just read what they are saying. You may not understand their language, which is where the internet is actually our friend! There are sites with the latest "slangtionary". Read it and learn their language.

[Big Pappy]

Yes, parents need to wake up. My next door neighbor has three daughters. Two were pregnant by 15, the third is 16 now. She acts like an angel and daddy thinks she is. Saw her lastnight 3 houses down the street while three boys in the 2nd floor of their house dropped their pants and were showing butts and erections to this little angel and her friend. They were loving it and egging it on. So you have one parent who has no clue what his daughter is into, and another parent with no idea that her son and his friends are exposing themselves to these girls outside and all others that drive by. Crazy.

[splashtc]

We need to take back our culture and not leave it in the hands of hollywood and hip hop. Young people need to know it's shameful to be lewd in actions, dress, deeds....

[*flo*]

What ever happened to "live in my house, live by my rules"? When did parents become afraid to say, "NO"?
Posted by: JustSayNo | Aug 23, 2005 9:09:20 AM

My parents had NO CLUE what I was doing when I was a teenager. The little they did know got me into a lot of trouble. The abundance of things they did not know could have gotten me hurt or killed! However, I agree with Hillary Clinton on ONE thing (child protection is pretty much the only subject I agree with her on)...it takes a village to raise a child. If that means "butting in" to someone else's business, fine. I would hope that a parent would make me aware. This idea that really took off about fifteen years ago when I was a teen regarding individuality and personal growth did not mean take away all the boundaries needed to raise a responsible child.I commend the parents here who do supervise what their children are doing. There are sites with the latest "slangtionary". Read it and learn their language.

Posted by: ParentsJustDon'tUnderstand | Aug 23, 2005 11:47:43 AM

Some "Slangtionary" links:

http://www.pleasedeargodgiveusajob.com/html/slangtionary.html

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1548697,00.html

Just to say "no" to a child/teen today, also requires prevention. Living in a busy society, having some "others" raising their children and/or, child maintaining his/herself, speaks volumes. However, placing value in ones life, our childrens future will be successful.
Familiar with the "old mans cliche'", "do as I say, don't do as I do"
Many of us parents/guardians need to remind ourselves, kids will do what you do and more! The pressures placed on our children today, its horrific, (schoolground/internet Bullying, predators), keep our children safe and educate.

A great movie to watch with your child:

http://julieposey.com/12/modules/wfchannel/

[clintcarter]

There is no George Washington Middle school in Ridgewood on MySpace.com ??

[clintcarter]

Nothing beats being open with your kids about taboo subjects and living so that they don't think you're asking them not to do the things they see you doing.

[*flo*]

Nothing beats being open with your kids about taboo subjects and living so that they don't think you're asking them not to do the things they see you doing.

Posted by: clintcarter | Aug 23, 2005 2:55:17 PM

Clint, you're exactly right! Gotta keep it "Real"

[Not a Hand Wringer.]

It's all the fault of Aruban Law Enforcement and the obvious 'moral-decadence' prevalent on the Island, according to the faithful readers of The Riehl World View.

As further proof that it's all the fault of Aruba, the Riehl World View-ers pointed to 65 female students out of 490 female students at Timken High School in Red State Ohio, that are pregnant.

http://www.newsnet5.com/news/4885861/detail.html

When asked for further comment, Dan Riehl's faithful readers pointed a suspicious finger at known sex-predator Joran Van Der Sloot, who once visited America for 30 days.

30 days is Plenty of time to inseminate 65 Ohio virgins according the blog readers.

[*flo*]

As further proof that it's all the fault of Aruba, the Riehl World View-ers pointed to 65 female students out of 490 female students at Timken High School in Red State Ohio, that are pregnant.

http://www.newsnet5.com/news/4885861/detail.html
Posted by: Not a Hand Wringer. | Aug 23, 2005 4:07:00 PM

School officials are not sure they what has caused so many pregnancies? According to the Canton Health Department: Seems Ohio State Heath Officials need to work on there budgeting. Ya know only alittle prevention goes a long way;)

[clintcarter]

Must be the 'three prong program'.

[Banana]

"There is no George Washington Middle school in Ridgewood on MySpace.com ??"

Posted by: clintcarter | Aug 23, 2005 2:51:21 PM

Really? Did the MSNBC writer even fact check this story? I'm LMAO if you're right, and this is a crock of garbage. My nearly 17 y.o. has a xanga and a tickle site. So do her friends. None of their pages show anything provocative or slutty, and I've seen them all (whether they showed me them or not!) ;)

If what you're saying is true, clint, then I think some letters to MSNBC are in order

[*flo*]

School officials are not sure they what has caused so many pregnancies?

Must be the 'three prong program'.

Posted by: clintcarter | Aug 23, 2005 7:03:50 PM

LOL!!!You're FUNNY! LOL!!!

[*flo*]

"There is no George Washington Middle school in Ridgewood on MySpace.com ??"

Posted by: clintcarter | Aug 23, 2005 2:51:21 PM

If what you're saying is true, clint, then I think some letters to MSNBC are in order

Posted by: Banana | Aug 23, 2005 7:10:17 PM

Actually, I think on MySpace.com, when doing a "search", this would need to be someones screen name....however in the MSNBC article, it does say mother being interviewed, her name was changed. There is a George Washington Middle School in Ridgewood, NJ.

[clintcarter]

My point was that when you go to the list of schools for Ridgewood on MySpace there is no Geo. Washington. I'm sure the school exists.

Does that mean that the kids need to list under another school? Or not show any affiliation?
It seems like it would be safer if you HAD to list your school. Then if you were a fake (old troll?) the kids from that school would know you were not a student there.

[*flo*]

Does that mean that the kids need to list under another school? Or not show any affiliation?
Posted by: clintcarter | Aug 23, 2005 8:21:21 PM

Or no Profile with such listing. Yes, saw what you were talking about. Searched my old high school, there were a few profiles there with pics on them. LOL!

[galloway/mojo]

I'm really glad to see this topic covered here. We have been through a very bad experience with myspace.com which I would like to share... I thought about this all day before I got the guts to put what has happened to us in words. I hope it helps.

Our minor daughter has been stalked by a young adult male for the last 6 months. It is a long story that includes property trespass, threats, an attempt to force her into a car, assault....and it has culminated in his arrest and conviction.

During this time period, our stalker (believe me...it does feel like the whole family has been stalked) created a myspace.com account in my daughter's name. At first, he posted innocent pictures of her cheering at football games, photos from the newspaper when she won an award, etc.....the space was what authorities referred to as an altar. After a few months, as he became more unstable, he started adding porn to the space, and threats, and disgusting text. He would call our home and tell us to look at the page everytime he added a new disgusting tidbit.

What made this so upsetting to my daughter was that he created the myspace a/c in her real name and he listed her real high school as one of her groups. And he used a throwaway email account for which only he had access. No where on the actual page was her real name visible, but because he used her real name when setting the account up, any myspace search on my daughter's name or her school would pull this vile site up. So when her friends would look for her space, you can imagine how embarrassed she was when this page appeared. I think many parents are not aware of exactly how the search feature at myspace works. And they are not aware that the email account holder is the only party with control over the page.

Once he began posting porn and threats, we were able to get his privileges revoked very quickly...myspace.com was very responsive. We did this this month with the assistance of a family member who is retired federal LE. But since he received probation, he still has access to a computer. I check every single day at myspace, xanga, livejournal to make sure he is not up to his old tricks. There were nights I could not go to bed...afraid that as soon as I did, a new threat would pop up. (This is when you could find me on RWV at 3:00 a.m....lol!)

I know these websites are intended to fulfill that need for teenagers to 'journal' and also as a means to socialize with their friends....and in an ideal world this is a wonderful thing. But it never occurred to me that someone could and would use myspace as a weapon. Needless to say...myspace.com and the others are a no in our household.

[ParentsJustDon'tUnderstand]

Galloway; how terrible that your daughter and your family had to go through something like that! Hopefully this situation has helped her gain "street smarts" and if looking into the face of possible danger, rather than being naive like most teenagers, she will be able to use her caution more efficiently. I have not had to deal with problems to this degree yet, as my oldest is only ten. I have had to ban her from listening to the radio on KOL (Kids version of America Online) because they continue to play "adult" oriented songs, and then there was this other person claiming to know her and persisted to IM her everytime I let her on. I let her visit the chat room once while of course I was sitting right there and the things they were talking about were inappropriate for her age. More for 14 and 15 yr. olds. What I find the hardest is monitoring "tweeners". There is really not much out there designed to address this particular age group. Everything seems either too "finger-painting and fairytales" that would be for the younger children or "boobs and boyfriends" for the age group older than her.

[Crackdown]

Homeland Security needs to ban the internet for teens and instead put them in Christian camp until they are 21.

Thank God for George Bush who is working on it right now.

Everybody knows these stalkers are nothing but Al Qadas who are trying to steal American virgins for their selves. Americans have to have resolve to stop this theft and protect our girls virginity in Christian camps until she is old enough for a covenant marrigage.

[*flo*]

What I find the hardest is monitoring "tweeners". There is really not much out there designed to address this particular age group.

Posted by: ParentsJustDon'tUnderstand | Aug 24, 2005 10:36:49 AM

These are great sites...for the tweeners & pre-teens....
http://www.sanriotown.com/login/index.php
http://disney.go.com/princess/html/main_iframe.html

[*flo*]

Posted by: ParentsJustDon'tUnderstand | Aug 24, 2005 10:36:49 AM

another site, coed: http://www.nick.com/

[ParentsJustDon'tUnderstand]

Thanks, Flo! We already have the Disney page and the Nick page book-marked, but I have never heard of the other one. I also subscribed her to American Girl magazine; good,wholesome content that gives them just enough in beauty and style but incorporates being kind and doing things for others and emphasizes the importance of being accountable for things like grades, working through friendships and other responsibilities. Not a lot of garbage to sift through before I give it to her. I had one other subcription but found I was tearing out pages left and right; by the time she got it, she only had about five pages or so to read. The magazine was VERY accommodating when I called and they said the magazine was designed for those that were not yet ready for seventeen, but too old for the others. They gave me a refund, no questions asked.

Glad to see more websites are out there.

[Cerulean]

Some parents find it convenient not to understand the nature of teenagers or the world we live in. That way they have more time to themselves. I think about half or more of people who have children should not have done so. It's a fulltime job for at least one person to watch kids until they are eighteen. I'm politically liberal but that is just a fact based on human nature. As soon as they can work the stove and all that, they are vulnerable to other kinds of trouble, sex, pornography, drugs, being victimized, etc.

[flash]

a any on know were the real myspace.com is for teens

[martisha]

I want to get on fucking myspace Im gonna bomb the fucking bitches that created websense!!!!! I hope u fucking die u fucking dutch bags!

[dicksucker]

this mother heffars who r sayin that kids cant get on myspace r gonna get fucking jumped and their mothers r gonna die u fucking fat baggy asses. with ur fucking saggy vaginas and ur fucking saggy balls! GET OFF UR MOTHERS SAGGY BREAST!

[dicksucker]

this mother heffars who r sayin that kids cant get on myspace r gonna get fucking jumped and their mothers r gonna die u fucking fat baggy asses. with ur fucking saggy vaginas and ur fucking saggy balls! GET OFF UR MOTHERS SAGGY BREAST!