Now Wait A Minute

When Ian sent a link to the video to the Jersey gal defending Joran Van der Sloot - I had to go back and look at this more closely.

ABRAMS: He wasn’t one of these people — I mean, there are some people when they drink a lot, they really come to be different people than they were sober.

S. CADMUS: Not at all. Because I know people who do become different people when they’re drunk, and Joran is not one of them.

ABRAMS: Do you know how often he drinks? Sort of drinks to get drunk, et cetera?

S. CADMUS: Parties, clubs. Nothing out of the ordinary. Everybody knows teenagers drink. They’re going to drink. That’s how kids are these days. Nothing out of the ordinary — a normal teenage boy...

S. CADMUS: I wouldn’t be as attracted to him and the more, he lived with me for three weeks, so obviously, you know, you start fighting, and just minor fights, “Oh, you left your cereal bowl on the table, you have to clean up after yourself,” just minor fights. Obviously, we would become frustrated with each other living with each other for three weeks. And no violence, no anger at all, just very calm and subdued.

Okay, sorry - let me get this straight - the daughter is or was 16 - they go from flirting at the pool to somehow living together for three weeks under the same roof - and yeah - they drink, doesn't every kid?

Could someone please arrest this idiot parent/woman, friend of the Van der Sloot's for being criminally stoopid and, while you're at it, please remove the f^(k me sign off the daughter's back ... as if you would ever get to see it.

Geesh! Kids, today ... uh huh .... my oh my, how DO they get like this?

Send in the hate comments I don't care ... that is pathetic.

Comments

[Kap]

What a loser line to use on a girl and what a dingbat girl to fall some corny line as the top 10 things I want to do is "sit under the stars with the one I love." LOFL!!!!!

Secondly, what was Dan Abrahms purpose for this? Her mother and this girl's interview has NO relevance. I agree with the one poster who said "one can't see the danger besides us." If I hear one more time what a charming, good student blah blah Joran is I might strangle somebody myself. Do people live under rocks? All people from all walks of life and backgrounds commit violent crimes? Skakel? The Preppie Rapes. Christ, Ted Bundy was a law student who had other girlfriends that he did not kill. By all accounts, Bundy was a good looking, intelligent person, yet he killed numerous people.

Whatever....

[berry]

I do not really understand the criticism of this relationship. Parents became friends, the kids had sports in common and an affection for each other. Joran was hoping to attend an American university for a first class education. He spent 3 weeks in the USA with the family.

Big deal.

Does anyone seriously think most teens do not drink or try to a couple of times? Zzzzzzzzz.

I love that whenever a suspect is revealed to be social and charming or personable, he is instantly considered by some to be a sociopath.

Let's get back to the evidence in the case - if there is any.

Just because close friends and ex-girlfriends and parent observers agree Joran is a nice kid, is no reason to feel threatened. Sometimes nice people commit crimes. But maybe this isn't one of those times.

The problem here is there is no evidence we know of that Joran did commit a crime. Add to that the testimonials and the case against him continues to deteriorate.

I applaud this mother-daughter team to have the guts to get on national tv and put a positive spin on a young suspect, about whom much negativity and trash talk has swirled for months.

[Kap]

berry - you are seriously delusional. What testimonials have caused the case to deteriorate? What logical explanation do you have for Natalee's disappearance and Joran and the Kalpoe bros lies? The garderner testimony yesterday by all accounts STOOD UP to intense questioning by the defense lawyers and the judge. Earlier, Joran confessed to killing Natalee. He also signed a statement that Deepak killed her. They know something and you are again seriously delusional if are buying the crap (that happened 3 years ago) this girl and her mother are selling. The fact that he knows his status on the island makes it more likely he thought he could get away with crimes like this....

[mona]

Just another example of piss poor parenting...wouldnt be surprised to hear mommmy and daddy are into swinging.....who else would create such a quick and intimate relationship with stangers?

[mariaha]

(taken from jun23 interview)
VAN SUSTEREN: Any drug use or alcohol use by him?

ANITA VAN DER SLOOT: A hundred percent no. No. He is, like, Mom, I would not smoke or I would not use drugs because I am a sporter. I want to make something out of my future. If there would have been anything of that, I would have noticed. I'm a teacher. I work with kids between 12 and 18 years, the last 25 years. So you're used to so many things, problems that appear with your students. You're so alert. And I think you're even more alert with your own children._______________________________________________

VAN SUSTEREN: Girlfriends?

ANITA VAN DER SLOOT: Yes, of course. I mean, there were two girlfriends in his life that he had a longer relationship with. One was an American girl, who left, who was part of the school, and she just sent an e-mail totally upset because she finished the relationship and she thought that Joran was too sweet, she needed a stronger man. And another girl was an Aruban girl and — a very sweet girl, came here at home. And that ended about — it was a year ago, and he was really serious. He said, Well, Mom, you know, I'm going off-island to study, so I need to focus more. And there was no really strong relationship.

[Michael_adj]

Parents need to take responsibility and teach there children values.It is wrong to be drinking underage.It is wrong to leave a boy and a girl of that age alone and unsupervised.Yes, I remember teenage hormones and i got whacked in the back by a broom handle when my girlfriends father caught us semi-undressed in his house alone.Thought he was gonna kill me, lol. But as a parent I try to get my child (she's 12) to Sunday school every weekend and spend as much time with her as possible.I also make it a point to practice what I preach.
Parents need to be parents, not there childrens buddies.

[carol]

I dont think you can visit someone for three weeks and know what they are capable of doing. Ask Laci Peterson,Nicole Simpson,Lori Hacking and others.

[inxs]

I watched this girl and her mother on the Abrams Report, and I thought to myself. She is not in touch with reality.......nor the mother. What mother lets their underage children DRINK. I couldn't even believe that she was allowed media coverage. She was not substantial in anyway or degree. To her mother.........You need to get a grip on your children.

[proudredneck]

Ah, their 15 minutes of fame is up. Let's return to normal programming. Mother living vicariously through daughter wanted to get her face time. Lots of people interject themselves into things they would be better keeping private.

What self-respecting young man is going to want to introduce this girl at dinner parties as the "girl who lived with Joran vanderSloot" when she was but a child.

[inxs]

I applaud this mother-daughter team to have the guts to get on national tv and put a positive spin on a young suspect, about whom much negativity and trash talk has swirled for months

Berry.........you applaud them? They are both jokes.

[dfrombham]

also make it a point to practice what I preach.
Parents need to be parents, not there childrens buddies.

Posted by: Michael_adj | August 16, 2005 08:59 AM

I couldn't agree more.

[yoninadi]

girl friend says that jvds was hanging out at poolside with his friends at marriot hotel.this should not be allowed at any tourist hotel in aruba or any where else in the world.this is loitering.this is unsafe for tourist because it can and will lead to robberies from people and rooms.kidnapping of white babys and todlers and then sold into white slavery to wealthy people all over the world!muggings and murders could also take place.if aruban tourist minister and hotels do nothing to stop locals from loitering around hotels with PAYING GUEST then americans should not only boycott aruba,but go to entertainment centers closer to home and stimulate local economies.

[justguessing]

Chicadee and Not a Hand Wringer...

Haven't read thru all the comments from last nite and today, but in reference to the 'teen drinking' I wanted to add some thoughts.

I don't know the statistics, but sometimes when you see fairly open drinking/drug taking in teens (Whether hidden in plain sight at a casino in your hometown or out in the open at home, "European style", you will find an alcoholic (a 'drinking problem')or drug addicted parent in the same home. There are alcoholic parents (of all nationalities and ethnicities- from all over the world) who tacitly encourage their children to drink-

[Kap]

AVDS says he son doesn't drink. Is she out of touch with reality or does she her little sweet Joran would never lie to her? Come on. This ex-girl from NJ said she's seen him drunk. He hangs out in bars, clubs and casinos and she thinks he doesn't drink? She needs serious help .

Also, she is sadly mistaken about whether or not she would KNOW if her son was drinking or taking drugs. Parents are usually the last ones to know. Just because you work with kids doesn't give your a doctor's ability to know if someone is on drugs, etc.....It just doesn't work that way.

[Susan P.]

I am hoping that when she said "they had lived together" that Joran was there as a foreign exchange student. If not, I am astonished. However, my neighbor had her boyfriend move in with her at 16, he was 16 because his parents couldn't care for him (feed, clothe, etc). However, I do not think that this is the case with Joran. I am really hoping he was considered a foriegn exchange student.

[Tami]

I so agree with you! Being a mother of 5 teenagers who have many friends, I am faced everyday with the incompetency of other parents who refuse to parent their children. It makes the job of good parents all the more difficult. Where was her son during all of this? probably at a Michael Jackson sleepover?

[Anonymous]

When my friend was seventeen, his parents moved to another state. He wanted to finish school where he had been living the past few years, so he moved in with the family of a friend of his (who happened to be female). They were certainly not boyfriend and girlfriend, and their living arrangement was more like that of siblings. I know of other cases where people would take in their children's friends for an extended period of time. It's not THAT unusual for someone to stay with a family friend for three weeks.

[magpie]

Can't the mother be arrested for providing alcohol to minors? The legal drinking age in Jersey is 21.

[jaybo]

If you are surprised by that listen to this.....

My sister's son was a teenager back in the 90s. My sister told me of one experience she had with the parents of her son's girlfriend.

It seems that her parents had given her permission to have her boyfriends spend the night with her in her room!

The logic (?) behind this was the old clique, "better off if done in front of us than behind our backs".

Let's face it, there are some adults that have no business giving birth and this is just one more example of that.

What I find even more amazing is the general lack of shame by the mother's attendance on national TV.

[dps2sons]

I thank you for your comments and agree. Teenagers have enough trouble when sober with their hormones and peer pressure and mood swings and ya,ya,ya. Our community is small. I know some drink, some do drugs, but this is allowing this behavior by the very ones who should be demanding otherwise. Maybe they would like to see the picture of the tree where we lost 4 honors students, one a star soccer player, one a state swimming champ, the driver was only a sophomore but so talented he already had a music scholarship. They're driving home from school one day, about a mile from school, maybe a block from the first house and the car went off the road and hit a tree killing all four. No alcohol, no drugs,just kids and that's hard enough. And that's another pet peeve of mine, the driver was driving a new Lexus. They shouldn't be spoiled that way either.

[Cathy]

S. CADMUS: I wouldn’t be as attracted to him and the more, he lived with me for three weeks, so obviously, you know, you start fighting, and just minor fights, “Oh, you left your cereal bowl on the table, you have to clean up after yourself,” just minor fights. Obviously, we would become frustrated with each other living with each other for three weeks. And no violence, no anger at all, just very calm and subdued.

I missed this interview, so I'm having to read what was said. Obviously, she had some problems with him or he had some problems with her; one of them was not cleaning up, and depending on the other to do it. It seems to me Joran was not interested in this girl (to easy maybe), and was getting bored with her. Natalee must have challenged him and was not an easy target like he thought. I wondered if he was using her to visit the US, and she was a convenience for him. She claims no anger at all but then turns around and says minor fights which leads me to believe that one of them was angry, and she was tripping over her words to describe calm subdued Joran...frustrated with minor fights. I guess Adrams was trying to show the bitter sweet side of Joran. Mama Sloot admitted Joran had some kind of problem with anger.

Please remove the f^(k me sign off the daughter's back ... as if you would ever get to see it.

This says a lot about this girl attitude. Hi! y'all look whats on my back!

[Tom]

I concur with your initial post. Its all about education. If the parents are idiots, the off spring, with some exceptions, will mirror the behavoir.

[mona]

nyone see Clint van Zandt on Abrhams? The genius thinks Joran has done this before and that the other girls who were victims of his actions should come forward. Why are these guys in paid positions? Joran walks.

Posted by: PLAYGIRL | August 16, 2005 06:56 PM

That would be nice ..unforunately being drugged leaves the victim with amnesia....good luck though

[!]

Noticed a comment from one here ...bad mothers everywhere. I was really surprized who it came from. Thats what the hell is wrong with kids today. The parents of some of these kids just turn their head a close their eyes. Kids think their behavior and antics are okay when parents do that. !! NOT !!!!!

[Anna2]

Well, Dan, not a hate comment, but I guess I just didn't see this the way you did when I watched the interview. I saw a young lady who was trying to stand up for a friend of hers and I have to respect that.

As for the "living together" comment - I'm sure that was with the family and I didn't see anything wrong with that.

As for the drinking admission by the young lady - well, if she had denied it, everyone here would have jumped on that claiming it wasn't realistic to believe teens never drink. Why not give her credit for admitting it - which by the way, she actually was acknowledging that Joran drank - not admitting that she did. Is it reasonable to make the assumption that she drinks because she says "that's how kids are"? Perhaps, but it isn't actually what she said.

Like I said, no hate comments - but I do disagree with your conclusion that "this is pathetic" - just didn't see it that way.

[Hope]

I can't help but think of how the van der Sloots as parents set their kid up. They seem to be ignorant of the fact that a young boy staying with a young girl for 3 weeks is inappropriate, they set him up in an apartment so he can have free access and do whatever he wants, they don't seem to know where he is at all hours of the night, they seem to think it is okay for a minor to be inside of a casino gambeling. They treat him like he is an adult. He lies to his mother ("if you were home mom I wouldn't have gone out") and she believes him. His father's way of spending time with his son was to take him to a casino. To me, he seems like a kid who doesn't know how to get attention in a good way from the people that should matter most - his parents.

[ev]

Parents should be held accountable for underage teens being out past curfew. The Van der Sloot family are living in a dream world. They actually thought that they could let Joran hang out to all sort so time in the night and that he would be responsible.

[Art]

Dan, you be the man!
This New Jersey mom needs some serious psychiatric care AND parental skill improvements. Allowing a 16 year old girl to drink and party (and sleep?) with a strange guy...but "his parents were really great!" Come on, this lady is trying to get her daughter married off into a (perceived) wealthy Dutch family at too early an age, or she is trying to re-live her teen years through her daughter!

As for the daughter, she needs to be sent to a convent for a few years to re-think her own life path!

Thank god neither is a relative of mine or I would really tear them apart!

Bluntly speaking, Joran is a womanizer, he is a pathological liar, and he is a sexual predator. The Kalpoes are his cronies. All three need to be thoroughly interrogated by real investigators...and THEN the truth will come out. I think Natalee was sold to sex traders to pay off Juran's debts at the casinos, and I bet this is not the first time it has happened either!

My thoughts and prayers to the Holloways and Twittys, and to "Dubya" Bush, who could put alot more pressure on Aruba to get this case moving!

[Fed Up]

I've been coming to your blog for a while now and enjoyed it, until lately. You have slacked off on it, and haven't even reported what I consider to be important info. I'm finding another website. This one has run it's course.

[TheTruth]

Wow, some of you clearly live on a different planet! Either you were completely sheltered growing up, which resulted in you being exposed to NOTHING (ie: not seeing what life is really like for teenagers these days, this happens often to sheltered children) or you really think we live on Utopia. This isn't Utopia, folks, this is Earth, I think some of you - you included Dan - need to be reminded of that.

I don't know ANY 16 year olds from the modern generation that haven't been exposed to the party scene. Heck, by the age of 16 I had done a WHOLE LOT more than drink and sleep with a girl. Every one of my peers did as well, well, except for the band dorks and sheltered kids of course. ;)

You use things like underage drinking, partying, and dating lots of girls casually, as some sort of proof that Joran is capable of committing murder. If that logic holds true, then damn near every teenager in America is also capable of murder. Get real!

Don't get me wrong, if I had to bet, I'd say Joran did it, and I'm not defending the Jersey girl, I couldn't care less about her opinion... but many of you need to stop being so "holier than thou" to try and score points with the other self-righteous people here... again, get off your high horse, and get real!

Or if you honestly think that is the way teenagers are these days, and partying teenagers are strictly an anomaly, then I feel real real sorry for you, as you are COMPLETELY living in the dark.

[Brian]

Read the comment from TheTruth waaay at the bottom ..where it should be. I ahve teenagers at home, both a boy and a girl. Yes they are going to try stuff, and yes I did at that age as well. But never, and I mean NEVER would my teenagers put themselves or be ALLOWED to be in a situation where they are living w/someone! Much less talk about as though it is common place. IT'S NOT! I am not ignorant and no prude. I know children will always push the envelope and the rules. RESPONSIBLE parents set RULES and BOUNDRIES, and then ENFORCE THEM. With all dangers of disease ,drugs ,and violence how can you sit back and let your children run their life?? Look at a VAST majority of adults who have and continue to screw up their lives...and they have experience to draw from so they should know better and make better choices. You think letting a 16 year old make adult choices is common place? Not letting them make adult decisions is being a prude or old fashioned?!?! Well maybe I am a prude after all... My children have a healthy respect for themselves and others. The example I try to set for them is to always honor 1)God 2)Family 3)Country, and when you make a mistake, honor yourself by admitting that mistake, don't lie to cover it up. I believe PARENTS set the example...if the kid is messed up...well..the apple never falls very far from the tree...

[jaybo]

Truth,

You said the following; "Heck, by the age of 16 I had done a WHOLE LOT more than drink and sleep with a girl. Every one of my peers did as well, well, except for the band dorks and sheltered kids of course. ;)"

You do not appear to me to be a "shining example" of what most parents today would look to as a role model for their teenage kids.

Believe it or not I have two teenage boys that by your standards must be "dorks" or "sheltered kids" because they do none of the things you did as a teen.

Thank goodness for that.

In fact, it is my opinion that you are a willing participant with the crowd that continues its relentless war on our morals and standards in this country. When you raise a child with few moral standards, you get out of them what you've invested in them.

In Joran's case you get a narcissistic, amoral child that feels he deserves anything he desires.

I hope you either change your mind or get a vasectomy!

Please!

[What_Ever]

Jaybo, I couldn't agree with you more!!

[nemo]

Jaybo, I couldn't agree with you more!!

[Art]

TheTruth??? Wow is that an oxymoron! Obviously you were raised by uncaring and irresponsible parents, much like the 16-year old girl who is the subject of this thread.
YOUR choices appear to be as ridiculous as the ones made by that girl and her parents. Thank God, "The Truth" is not the majority in this country or we would be f_____ed. AIDS, HIV, herpes, clamidia, Hepatitis C, are just a few of the diseases that can maim or kill as the result of cavalier sex with strangers (or even "friends") today. Having role models permit teens to have sex and drink and do drugs is morally and ethically irresponsible - and destructive.
I suggest "TheTruth" go find himself an island, like Aruba, where he can practice his lifestyle and leave this country to caring people!

[TheTruth]

*chuckles* Keep burying your heads further and further in the sand, then you can make the world exactly how you want it to be! ;)

Let me address these erroneous comments in order...

Bryan, never once did I mention or defend 16yr olds living with eachother. My post was in response to not only this thread, but MANY MANY others here on this blog over the past few months, which have tried to make it seem as if drinking and partying and dating at Natalee and Joran's age is some horrible activity only done by a few, and grounds to prove he could be a murderer. I was simply pointing out that not only is it common, it is the majority in today's day and age. My guess is, that all three of you who responded are from an older generation, and grew up in a very different world, one that no longer exists. Partying in your teenage years is not only common place today, it is the absolute majority!

I'm sure you do indeed set strong examples for your children and do your best to enforce them, that is wonderful, I would hope no parent would do otherwise. My folks did the same for me, and I credit them for me having the incredibly successful life I have had, and a large part of making me the person I am today. However, that did not prevent me from trying many things in adolescence, that they would NEVER have condoned, and yet I was not in a minority, not even close. Just because you THINK your children aren't doing things, and you have laid down rules and parameters, absolutely DOES NOT mean/prove that they haven't done things you wouldn't condone. And if you really think it does, then sir, you live blindly.

I don't condone 16yr olds living together, I don't know many who would, but to attempt to link partying, drinking, and dating, to murder is not only a farce, it is naivety to its fullest. And if you are going to cast that light on Joran, then you must cast it as well on millions of American teenagers (I would argue, the majority of them!), possibly even your own.

Jaybo, when did I say I was a "shining example of a role model", or that Joran is a "shining example of a role model"? In typical Devil's Advocate style you took a small thread and spun it off in a direction that was never implied, and was completely off course. We are not talking about ROLE MODELS here, we are talking about reality. Again, I was addressing people's attempt to link drinking, partying, and dating, as proof of someone being capable of murder. I say once again, if that line of logic holds true, then a LARGE majority of teenagers who exist in TODAY'S day in age, are also potential murderers. Likely some of your children as well. Again, just because they tell you they don't do these things, or that you have told them they are not allowed, does not prove they don't. How many teenagers (even in older generations) confessed all they did to their parents, and followed their every rule to a T? *chuckles* Far and few is the answer, at least on Earth, and particularly in today's day and age. I always get a good chuckle out of the parents who are 100% convinced their children are perfect angles, when I know first hand many many things they do. (Like the parent here a few months back who said "My teenagers drink juice, water and soda. Beer and wine, though in the house, are strictly off limits, and they have never tried either"). *chuckles yet again* Oooooooooooook lady, sure! They have done a GREAT job putting blinders on you, and though it is at least theoretically possible that they have never tried alcohol before, the chances of anyone reaching legal age before they have a single sip of alcohol is unbelieveably low in today's day and age. Again, naivety, like blinders on a racehorse. Funny punchline at the end there, Jaybo, but your post holds as much water as a colander.

Art, oh Art. Everyone else was able to be so civil in this conversation, but you sir, couldn't control yourself, could you? A shame that there always has to be one rotten apple in a bunch. Name-slinging and cheap shots, how immature! But it's ok, I can swing with the best of 'em. ;) "TheTruth" an oxymoron, eh? I find such sweet irony in that, as what I am actually doing is shining rays of TRUTH on this false reality you all believe your children are living in. But it's ok, leave the blinders on if it helps you sleep more comfortably at night, to each their own.

"Raised by uncaring and irresponsible parents". *laughs* How wrong you are, Art, the stark opposite actually. My father spent 25 yrs in the military and was a tremendous authoritative influence in my life, and has long been a role model for me. My mother was the best I've ever come across, caring and loving, both traits that have carried over into my life. Never met better parents myself, though I found them strict growing up (I ALWAYS had more rigid rules than my friends did, earlier curfews, not allowed to do things many others were, etc..) I have come to realize that everything they did was because they cared about me and my future, and in my mid-20's, I realized that just about everything I am today I owe to them.

Yet, their exceptional parenting did not prevent me from doing the things I did. It kept me in line, that is undeniable, as I knew many people who DIDN'T have good parents, and as a result fell off the deep-end. But again, just because you have rules and you THINK your kids don't do these things (these things meaning: drink, date, party, etc), or just because they TELL YOU they don't, does in NO WAY confirm that they don't. You were young once, no? Have you really forgotten the nature of childhood? Your post sure makes it seem so! And yet, your childhood wasn't in THIS modern society, which is drastically different in so many ways from even society 20 years ago, that it would be hard for you to even relate. I never said "cavalier sex with strangers" (once again you take a thread and spin it off in a direction that is erroneous, not surprising though, as that's how most false arguments are put together) I said I had had sex by that age, with a girl I had been dating over 2 years. Then I had other partners in college (no diseases here). If this is shocking to you, then you've got a large dosage of reality coming your way as your children grow up.

But take your hostile and false cheap shots if you so desire. Human nature is to lash out when cornered, particularly when cornered by truth! Your rhetoric bores me, Art.

In conclusion, I am not saying that parents should NOT be good role models, or should not have moral-balanced guidelines and parameters for their children, THEY ABSOLUTELY SHOULD! And I will as well. I am just not naive enough to be 100% convinced that just because I DO make such rules and set such parameters that by default that means my children will never experiment with these things, particularly in a day and age where many things that were downright incomprehensible only 20-30 years ago, have become much more common, and much more widespread. By my knowledge of this, and acknowledgement of this, I am much more prepared to raise children in today's day and age, and offer advice for them when they are presented with these choices (as they will be, it is NOT an "if", it is a "when"). You are welcome to raise your children with blinders on, but they will be much worse off as a result of that.

Perhaps you all believe "ignorance is bliss", but I don't. I believe ignorance is... well, ignorance. ;)

[Susan R]

In my view drinking is a bad habit.

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[Amber R]

Now how come my friends from that era ( many whom I still see to this day ) are all doing well today with professional careers, families, and all the nicities that go along with such lifestyles?

[tramadol]

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