Words fascinate me; they always have. The power of words, and language is nuclear and miraculous. Sometimes too much so, perhaps. Presently I'm trying to grasp the full and incredibly comprehensive nature of a new word: Cocksmoker. This word is troubling me.
For example - if a buddy wants to insult me, he might call me a cocksmoker. But if a woman wanted to praise me, she might just as easily say, "Dude, you gotta real smokin' cock!" This strikes me as rather something of a dickotomy. And it only begins to nibble at the tip of this cocksmoking word. It stands to reason that for every cocksmoker there has to be at least one smoking cock in the picture somewhere. But I rarely hear them praised.
What about second hand cocksmoke? I'm unaware of any studies in this regard. As a smoker of cigarettes I am forced to go through some rather great measures of inconvenience to enjoy my habit. But cocksmokers, at least as I understand the general meaning of the word in its masculine case, are moving in the entirely opposite direction. So I wonder, are they, society, I mean, really comitted to equality and justice for all, or are they simply clearing the cocksmokers out of the closet to make more room for me? And that doesn't even begin to address the issue of the cocksmoking smoker - my God, how confused they must be.
Are there cocksmoking jackets? Cock holders? Which end does one light? It would seem that the back end provides a fair amount of tinder - but the smell of burning hair isn't exactly comparable to a soft vanilla Cavendish, a tart Black and White, or even a plastic packet of Prince Albert. What do these men, these Cocksmokers, do? I have frightening visions of portly men pushing back dining room chairs, "Hey, I've some really terrific Brandy and some fine dark cocks in the study! What say we go have a smoke?"
Is a skinny little white dick a cockarette? Do they have plastic holders for these things? Does it matter what side of the mountain they're grown on? When cocksmokers quit, do they chew rubbers and put on weight? Do they stain one's teeth? Can pregnant women smoke cock - limited, freely, or not at all? How come Paris Hilton, an apparently known cocksmoker gets a television show and Jeff Gannon, a suspected cocksmoker loses his job? Sometimes I think the world is chock full of cocksmokers, really I do. Bastards.
Words and language evolve. I've never heard the word cocksmoker, but it's probably a neologism substituting for cocksucker, which is losing its value as a term of opprobrium. Calling a guy a cocksucker leaves him unscathed, if a little angry, but creates emotional injury to ANOTHER guy, for whom it is an approved way of life.
Like all PC expressions, cocksmoker sucks. It combines incongruity with routine vulgarity, which never satisfies. The imagery of combustible or enflamed cock rests uneasily for one who has one or intends to have one in the future. It gets worse, but I won't go as far as you did.
Karl Rove probably had something to do with this word.
Posted by: Rhod | Friday, March 04, 2005 at 09:33 PM
Hey, you're not Rod McKuen!! All this tiem I thought you were Rod McKuen! lol
Posted by: Dan | Friday, March 04, 2005 at 09:41 PM
That really, really hurts Blog Boy. Rod was a cocksmoker. Maybe I did sign a few copies of Flowers for Randy, but that was a long time ago.
Posted by: Rhod | Saturday, March 05, 2005 at 07:46 AM
I just hate this. I have a forgery??
Posted by: Clay Mellin | Saturday, March 05, 2005 at 07:48 AM
As someone who is going to be a father soon it really bothers me the way companies are making their smoking employees go outside to smoke. I don't want my daughter to be asking me what all those people on the sidewalk are doing.
Posted by: Pile On® | Saturday, March 05, 2005 at 07:20 PM
You are ILL. Was this a drunk post? Still, though, my face hurts from laughing...
Actually, if I could get my mother to stop reading my blog, I'd get to post things like this. Dammit!
Posted by: Beth | Sunday, March 06, 2005 at 04:26 AM
Pile On:
Luckily my kids are all gone now. But, my tobacco use rendered them eager to murder Italian journalists. One of them was even at Guantanamo with the innocents that he picked up in Afghanistan. I can't even talk about that. All this started with a Marlboro, and none of them even smoke!
Posted by: Rhod | Sunday, March 06, 2005 at 04:12 PM
Heh, my policy on Marlboro's is don't ask don't tell.
Hey Dan, I have changed my e-mail address, I am trying to get it updated in all the places that I sometimes comment.
Posted by: Pile On® | Sunday, March 06, 2005 at 05:59 PM