Really, Really Pissed

Warning: Adult Language Directly Ahead - Travel at your own risk.

I've been running around all got-damned morning trying to buy a fucking vowel. I absolutely cannot belief this. This is America for God's sake - you should be able to buy just about anything here if you want it. Right?

I went to Walmart, Home Depot and Sears - "Where are the fucking vowels?" I asked. Nothing, just the same shitty look and no response from the same clueless clerk in a smock everywhere I went. I tried Shop-Rite, CVS and finally even 7-11, where I wound up in a fight with some freaking immigrant.

Me: "I'd like to buy a fucking vowel, please?"

Mohammed: "AHHHHH!! Vhat kind place you thenk dese is, you son of bitch!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! You! You get the fuck out of my store, now!"

Well, pardon me. But I'm afraid I'm just not the kind of fellow to take crap like that from some brown clown in a turban for no good reason, and less than a mile from my home, at that.

"Lookie here," I said, "you monkey worshipping sack of sad assed excuses for a poor man's Mr. fucking Whipple, I don't know about where you swam in from, but in THIS country, merchants show their clientle a little respect!"

So, he starts yelling to this other orange smocked camel humping cronie of his behind the counter, telling him to call the police and saying he refuses to deal with me, anymore. I tried to reason with his buddy, "Look," I said, "all I want to do is buy a fucking vowel. Is that sooo got-damned much to ask?"

Apparently it was. He started dialing the phone ... so, I just left. What assholes! Why we even let them in the damn country, let alone set up shop is totally beyond me. So, home I sit ... and no fucking vowel to show for it. GOT-DAMN!

UPDATE: My plumber called. He apologized, apparently his cell phone was breaking up this morning when he left the first message. He wanted me to pick up a "flushing valve" so he has it when he gets here tomorrow.

Fucking cell phones! They suck! Worse than immigrants when it comes to service, if you ask me.

Comments

[Steel Turman]

Funny, I wrote of things plumbing today too. Mine blow up.