For years Attention Deficit Disorder, Depression, Hyperactivity and a host of other cerebral causes and conditions have grabbed headlines and government research dollars, while a more significant malady has gone virtually ignored and unchecked, taking an incalculable toll on America's population and wealth. Now that seems to be changing.
Intellectual Deficit Disorder, alternately known as IDD, or common stupidity has finally begun to find its own champions within the powerful halls of Washington. Senator Barbara Boxer (D) CA is one of a handful of Washington elites who have recently come out from the shadows to reveal their own private battles with this troubling affliction in hopes of raising awareness … and money.
Senator Boxer has teamed up with DNC Chair Howard Dean to launch Intellectually Disadvantaged Individuals Organized To Succeed, (IDIOTS), a grass roots organization funded in part by the DNC to reach out to dumb people everywhere.
"It is no fun being stupid," said Boxer at a recent IDD kick-off event. "I've kept quiet long enough and it's time I began to share my own struggle with this terrible disorder in hopes of helping others to cope with its debilitating effects."
The National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH) has contributed the following guidelines for stupid people when it comes to dealing with the challenges of everyday life.
1. If you find yourself in over your head through a position of responsibility requiring depth of thought and understanding, consider some alternatives. There are many options for dumb people today. Auto-mechanics work with some of today's most sophisticated computers, though menu driven to minimize the mental challenge. And most operate using the kind of noises and flashing lights that can keep an IDIOT like Boxer or Dean engaged for hours.
2. Be a teacher! What better way to work to level the playing field between the intellectually disadvantaged and otherwise normal people? You can help water down the intellect of the next generation assuring your genetically disadvantaged offspring a better station in life. Teaching also has the benefit of making you feel intelligent - even if you know it isn't true. And unionization and tenure ensure your ability to be as stupid as you can be without fear of ever being held accountable.
3. Don't be afraid. There are plenty of dumb people in the world - many manage to hold positions of power and prestige, at least temporarily. Sometimes stupid people just keep to themselves, struggling silently with their affliction. You need to practice speaking up on most any topic just as do some of the more intellectually challenged Washington politicians. People will soon be able to conclude that you are stupid and either begin to patronize you, giving you room to exercise your stupidity, or they'll ignore you altogether with the same net effect. As an added benefit, other stupid people will be drawn to you and you'll soon have a large group of new friends. From there, you can do anything. You could even launch a political party if you're of a slow mind to.
4. Travel abroad to speak your mind and think "multi!" Be a strong proponent of concepts like multi-lateral-ism and multi-cultural-ism. Remember, language and culture differences create opportunities for confusion, distortion, misrepresentation or simple misunderstanding. You can't look bad if no one appears to know what he or she is talking about either.
5. Remember, appearances are everything. If you can't be smart, concentrate on looking smart - you'd be surprised how many people you will actually fool.
6. Some dumb people with money and or family connections have scaled the heights of American politics and they want to bring you with them. Affirmative action, equal opportunity, and quotas are their way of saying intelligence, qualifications and accomplishment don't matter - take advantage of these basically idiot proof programs when you can.
As part of IDIOTS new outreach program, the DNC is mass mailing a letter to potential new members. (Ed. Note – We had planned on including the full text of the letter, however editing problems prevent its full use, though we are providing an excerpt.)
Dear Stupid,
I’d like to talk to you about the IDIOTS, a new group absolutely committed to serving on your behalf in Washington. The Intellectually Disadvantaged Individuals Organized To Succeed needs your economic and electoral support. Whether you can read or write is unimportant. Well, reading is somewhat important unless someone is reading this to you, but it still isn’t that important.
What is important is that you realize you can both join us IDIOTS in our cause, as well as make sure you cast your ballot correctly in the next election to ensure you are sending an IDIOT to Washington on your behalf. The Republicans now control the Whitehouse and the Congress and it is becoming increasingly difficult for IDIOTS like you and me to be heard. We need to be heard – whether we have something to say on a particular piece of legislation, or not.
Please keep an eye on your mailbox or email as we will be contacting you soon regarding some very important issues.
Sincerely,
Howard Dean
Chairman, Democratic National Committee
Co-Chair, IDIOTS
The letter above was initially designed to kick off the IDIOTS fundraising activities in connection to their first public meeting. Unfortunately, someone neglected to set up a post office box in time for their first event. Inside sources report that the IDIOTS finance committee is meeting next month to address the issue and they hope to come up with a solution.
For her part, Senator Boxer has vowed to continue speaking out as often and as loud as she can in the hopes that other stupid people might "see me as an example of what stupid people everywhere can become if their family has enough money and the right connections. And I will continue to fight to undermine programs and policies that reward accomplishment, creativity and intellect over stupidity."
This post also available at the Blogger News Network.
By jov - I think you got it! ;-D
Posted by: chrys | Saturday, March 19, 2005 at 10:30 PM