Now I Am Angry

h/t to Instapundit

I have read post after post on the commie Italian journalist and Syria's confusing and possibly half-hearted withdrawal from Lebanon. Okay, that's a lie. I barely get past a headline and if it weren't for Brit Hume, talk radio and googling up some of the most bizarre web sites I have ever seen, I wouldn't have a clue what is taking place in the world. But that's beside the point. Being uninformed shouldn't stop anyone from having an opinion.

From the issue of the moment, day, or week, I have spent month after endless month for the better part of a year reading blogs; which, frankly, since the election, more often read like a frustrated woman's orgasm searching for its own G-spot in a desperate attempt to get off.

Alright, check that - it's a poor analogy. How 'bout this one? They read like a bunch of unbronzed surfers paddling around in a cold flacid bay praying for the next big wave to come along, all the while manufacturing these little piffles to surf from post to post, day to day. Okay, that sucks, too - but it's better...mebbe.

Regardless, I am outraged. And finally I have found one issue that I can really sink my teeth into. What is going on in Lebanon is a travesty of everything I believe in. As Jeff at Beautiful Atrocities so aptly points out - even the Mongolians are way out in front of the poor repressed and deprived Lebanese people.

President Assad, you must let these breasts go! And it will NEVER be enough if you simply stop there. Though I will admit, that is a particularly damn fine set of hooters over there. But, I digress. As recent press photos have confirmed to everyone, there are far too many really really great repressed breasts struggling for freedom in Lebanon right now. And, damn it, I say they must be free! Half measures amount to nothing. No ONE breast can be truly free so long as so many other breasts remain imprisoned.

For heaven's sake, Assad, reports say you're married, you look like a fag - WHAT could you possibly want with all these breasts?? It's inhuman. And if I know the average male American soldier as I think I do - they aren't going to stand for this. And that doesn't even mention plenty of the female soldiers who would likely kick your ass for a pair of these nice breasts, too.

So, the jig is up, Assad. These pictures are all over the world by now. You haven't got a prayer. It is only a matter of time until all of mankind raises up its magnificent voice in one loud united call and demands, "President Assad, these breasts MUST go free!"

Comments

[jeff]

Please. Assad would have to go to the DARK end of the bathhouse for any action