WTW - Dan, the Dems and Deliverance

Welcome to White Trash Wednesday. A list of the now many participating blogs follows this post. I'm especially fond of this post as it marks the screen debut of two of our fellow bloggers - Beth of My Vast Ring Conspiracy and Eric of Vince Aut Morire. So, if you've got the time, I hope you'll sit back and enjoy a tale of political intrigue courtesy of Dan, the Dems and Deliverance.

Dandy Dan Rather is a newsman - and newsmen don't like not having the answers. Fresh off retirement from the CBS anchor desk, Dan decided he was going to get to the bottom of the vast right wing conspiracy even if he had to travel every Red State to do it.

But chastened from past experience, there was no way Rather and Mapes were going down THAT road agin. They decided to dig just a little bit deeper this time before they were satisfied. They were news people. News people always want to get it right and they'd been fooled by false promises before. The two decided to wind just a bit further into the wilderness to scope out the real Red State story. Boarding a canoe, they began traveling along Georgia's infamous Cahulawassee River hoping to question every Redneck they passed.

Unfortunately for the two reporters just as they rounded a bend in the Cahulawassee a rock just below the surface tipped the canoe and the two reporters were separated. Fortunately for Mapes she made it downstream to the next town but Dan was not so lucky. Eric of Vince Aut Morire, a right wing blogger and news fanatic, and his cousin Choppers had been out huntin varmint when they came upon a bedraggled Dan Rather. It was just the kind of find Eric had always prayed for. Considered a bit strange even by Hillbilly standards, Eric had turned the basement of his mountain home into a dungeon that, strangely enough, was also an exact replica of the very news studio he most loathed - the one at CBS.

Meanwhile, known for her tenacity, Mapes was hardly giving up. One call to Joe Lockhart was all she needed to get precisely what she wanted. Within hours a crack special operations team of left wing pundits was assembled and on the march. Led by Bill "Trouser Hound" Moyers, EJ "Skippy" Dionne, Jr. manned the radio while Maureen "Who's Your Daddy" Dowd and Mary "Fast Fingers" Mapes scouted ahead. Chief cook and bottle washer Oliver "Snack Man" Willis brought up the very large rear. In no time at all Eric the hillbilly's basement dungeon was stormed by the best field ops team the DNC could muster and newsman Rather had been saved.

Fresh from their hard fought victory in the basement of Eric Aut Morire and undeterred by Rove's evil minion's Brown Shirt tactics, good newspeople know that brains always wins out over braun. Within minutes they were all on the horn to their DNC contacts and the cat was out of the proverbial bag.

Dean went on to become DNC Chairman and the rest as they say is history. And even now some say that on a quiet night in a dark valley in Georgia just off the Cahulawassee River, if you watch the water real close ... the legacy of Rather and his liberal elitist colleagues can be seen on the surface of a vast flat mud-bottomed lake.

As an added bonus if you're ever in the mood to hear snippets of the Deliverance sound track, including Ned Beatty's infamous squeal - several wav files can be found here.

If you got this far, ya probably got time on your hands - so please be sure and check out the many other fine blogs playing along in White Trash Wednesday.

Comments

[You know who.]

YOUR ASS IS GRASS.

You have been WARNED.

[Dan]

ha ha ha I told ya payback is a biatch! ;p~~

[Gordon]

Absolutely brilliant!

[Gordon]

Waitaminute. What's that "Jews for Jesus" crack about?

[Dan]

Gordo,

I'll get ya some literature ... right after I finish talking to the Jehovah's Witness people. ; )

[Eric]

That's ok, I gave you a pre-emptive strike

[Pile On®]

Beth ya'll sure do got a nice...window unit there, that sure would be nice on a hot Georgia summer afternoon. I tell you what.

[spd rdr]

Um...
I don't know quite what to say.
Nice?

[John from WuzzaDem]

Holy crap! If I can't get this coffee out'n my keyboard and off'n my monitor, I'm a'sending you the bill.

[Nickie Goomba]

Boy, that Dan Rather got a real purty mouth.