I'm REALLY Such a BIG Guy

Well, as you'll see below and at this link, apparently ... I've lost a recent competition.

The votes have been tallied in the Blogger Babe Contest--Part  Deux. Just to get everyone up to speed, it's the second week of the Blogger Babe Contest, we've had seven nominees, and we've racked up one protest already, so I think we're off to a great start.

As for the results, it came down to a really tough fight between Goldstein and Coleman. But the winner is: JASON COLEMAN!

Well, it's not like I'm bitter, or anything. One learns through experience to take these things in stride. I do have a VERY BIG stride BTW. But if Goldstein and Coleman are what the girls want, I suppose I'll just have to accept it. I can do that. I can be the bigger man. I mean, after all, when you wear a SIZE 14 SHOE, you get used to these wee disappointments like a loss to a Goldstein and a Coleman. It's not like I want to ALWAYS be A HARD GUY about such things. It's just like water rolling off my leather gloves, the EXTRA LARGE ONES I need to have made special  because, well, because little gloves just don't fit on my HUGE OVER-SIZED HANDS. Nope, when it comes to gloves, I don't get lost and sort of just flop around inside like some little guys, maybe like Goldstein and Coleman do. Nah, I SLIDE IN NICE, SLOW, EASY AND TIGHT like the REALLY REALLY BIG GUY THAT I AM!

I had to laugh when a friend (yeah right!) wrote and asked if I was bitter; of course I'm not. I can see why I lost. Take Jeff, obviously his picture was photoshopped - the gals sensed that. They know that Jeff, a professor of English, actually has that distinguished receding hairline all skinny geeks knowledgeable scholars possess signifying great intelligence. And I bet that always broken nose from walking into library shelves because he has his head in some stupid book is ... well, distinguished, somehow. And then there's the tic he probably has from hours and hours of poorly lit graduate school reading endlessly on topics like narrative theory, interpretive theory, semiotics, semiology, hermeneutics, consciousness studies, and twentieth-century American effin' fiction. Yeah, now theres a guy you really wanna get jiggy with on a Friday night. No doubt. Ha! How could a BIG GUY like me possibly be bitter about not even getting a got-damned honorable mention against competition like THAT.

And that brings us to the winner - Jason Coleman. Clearly Jason, a former special education major having completed more than six successful years of rigorous studies at the Rosemont Vo-Tech and Middle School in the freaking education *ssh*le, I mean, capital of the world, Birmingham friggin' Alabama majoring in Paste Eating and Making Clay Christmas Pottery for MoM, clearly this guy is the type of sophisticated, well hung and educated sensitive metrosexual cum family man every woman wants to spend the rest of her freaking miserable life with, right?? I mean, come on!! It isn't like that little drooling problem is going to get in the way of a nice romatic dinner of a warm carton of milk and a hostess twinky MaMa slipped into his back pack as a special treat back in the fourth grade, RIGHT??

Of course not. And that's why I'm not bitter, nope, not at all. See, I really am just so MUCH MUCH BIGGER than these guys. And that's why this whole thing simply doesn't bother me a bit. So, a heartfelt congratulations to Jeff and Jason. It's always a pleasure for me when I see the little guys come out ahead once in awhile. Even if it is just a very wee tiny little bit ahead.

Comments

[Beth]

You owe me a new monitor and keyboard. HAHAHAHAHA

BTW, are you trolling for people searching for pr0n?

[Dan]

For Heaven's sake, Beth. No! I AM the people searching for porn!!!! Duh! lol

[Pile On®]

It is good to see you are not bitter, your sense of good sportsmanship is refreshing.

If only you had gotten your message out prior to the selection/election.