In yet another of a growing number of tragic Hollywood slayings, this one possibly involving former Olympic hopeful Tonya Harding, Twiggy the Waterskiing squirrel was gunned down in a hail of gunfire during a recent performance.
Observers say an as yet unidentified mysterious blond woman was seen flleeing from the scene of the shooting. Harding, after her recent setbacks as a female boxer is known to have recruited an upstart waterskiing squirrel from rural Long Island and the pair were spending countless hours training in hopes that the newcomer might one day challenge Twiggy for top spot within the Nation's waterskiing squirrel elite.
A crack detective and close family friend, Secret Squirrel, is said to be working in conjunction with 
long time Hollywood stalwart Rocky, of Rocky and Bullwinkle fame to track down the perpetrator of the fatal attack. Authorities have been mum on details but insiders say that Twiggy, Secret and Rocky are actually pillars among a
powerful squirrel elite controlling a large potion of the performing animals racket in Tinsletown.
It is known if rarely openly discussed that the three entertainers could often be seen cavorting with one another in Las Vegas as far back as 1963 when they formed the matrix of an infamous band of rabble rousers in dice town commonly referred to as the Squirrel Pack. "There are several potential motivations for this killing," said an unidentified federal source, "and Harding is not the only suspect being looked at at this time."
"These people are animals," said another well-placed insider. "It's all part of a seedy Hollywood underworld people don't read about in the press. It involves so many things - star power, money, big time gambling and greed. I'm not just talking entertainment here," said the source. "It reaches across the ropes into areas like gambling, boxing and maybe even the foundation of Las Vegas itself, the hotel trade."
Secret and Rocky were recently photographed together at Twiggy's funeral - an understated affair in which the noted Aquabat was laid to rest in a shoe box beneath a tree in a discreet, well-fenced backyard just outside Reno, Nevada. Twiggy's family has requested that in lieu of flowers monetary donations should be sent to the National Arbor Day Foundation on Twiggy's behalf.
Developing.
Chinnese woman says" Oh, Dan you so verwy vunny, you make me waff"
LOL, cute, Dan, very Cute
Posted by: Sly2SmoothieNJs | Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 02:13 AM
November 23, 2005
I am owner, trainer of Twiggy the water=skiing squirrel. I try to do good things with Twiggy. Reaching children promoting water safety is top on my list. You are ruining my image by such a site. TAKE ME OFF YOUR SITE IMMEDIATELY!!
Lou Ann Best
Posted by: Lou Ann Best | Thursday, November 24, 2005 at 07:06 AM