White Trash Wednesday - For Hyphenated-America

In conjunction with CrankyNeocon, Six Meat Buffet and Vince Aut Morie, tomorrow we will be celebrating "White Trash Wednesday." Understand, this all started out wanting to give every hyphenated-American a special day of their own. Unfortunately, it seems there just aren't enough days in the year to acknowledge all those other guys with special days and holidays, or we'd be working about as much as the French with our GNP on the way to third world status in no time. So, the best way to reach out and show compassion seemed to be to take just one day and tear ourselves, we non-hyphenated-Americans, down so we feel we're doing our part to lift those other poor hyphenated-bastards up.

White Trash Wednesday, or WTW, isn't really about race, creed, color, gender, or nationality. It is a day for all who consider themselves to be non-hyphenated, non-discriminated against, non-quota-tized, over-taxed, over-regulated, careful-speaking, under-subsidized, hard-working and over-demonized Americans to band together and say "we're sorry" we have it so good while you struggle with the weight of the world on your hyphenated-shoulders.

Of course, one might speculate as to how some of the petty little details sited above could be true - what with us being the non-hyphenated ruling class and all. But that just proves the point - at the heart of it, I guess we're just pretty damned stupid. And tomorrow is our day to share our stupidity, drunkenness, laziness and just plain confused state with the world - sorry, the hyphenated-world. I stand corrected.

We know, we non-hyphenated-Americans, that is, that the dirty little secret is we all have retirement accounts in the Caymans, ride in limos and enjoy private planes on our Hollywood-like salaries when we aren't stinking drunk in some wrong side of the tracks beer joint cruising for toothless sex partners and picking up flea-ridden stray pets on the way home. And if we really had our way, we'd raise our taxes and dole out more large subsidies for hyphenated-Americans; but since our mean Republican bosses in DC, who really do our thinking for us, won't have any of that, we thought WTW was the least we could do.

So tomorrow is our day to say to all of hyphenated-America - we're stupid, we're proud and, most of all, well, we're just real damn sorry.

This is an equal opportunity initiative and any blog is welcome to participate. Just help us show hyphenated-America how pathetic we, the non-hyphenated-ruling-class, really is and we'll all be on our way to building a better hyphenated-America. See, we're actually starting to become more and more hyphenated as we type. Thank-you.

Comments

[jeff]

My family will get mad if I post their pix

[DC]

Dan,

How appropriate to be doing this with the Non-Hyphenator-in-Chief is being inauguarated again. Very appropriate.