OK, So

If evil lurks in the hearts of men, then what the hell is it that's up in my got-damned attic making all that fuss at night?

Squirrels?

I'm definitely thinking squirrels. So, then where in the hell is this evil when you need 'em? Because if there's truly evil lurking in my freaking little heart I'd climb up through that opening and wring the little bastards neck the next time I heard him. But I won't.

I might get bit.

But since I'm on the topic of furry little creatures, allow me to pose another question that's been hounding me lately: What the hell is it with all of this ridiculous cat blogging? Aren't the damned calendars enough?

I'm blaming Garfield, or maybe it was those silly-assed Nine Lives or stupid Meow Mix chow chow meow meow meow commercials, I don't know. But Bill Gates, God and Al Gore didn't invent the got-damned Internet so a bunch of pussy footed, cat loving, scratch post buying, litter box cleaning bastards could post pictures of their freaking lazy-assed, good for nothing fur ball hacking cats all over it. Least ways, not if you ask me, anyways. But I digress. Does anyone have a good fix for squirrels?

Squirrels, Cat bloggers, Islamofascists, my list is getting longer. Maybe I should have tried the medication after all. Hmmm.

And BTW, anything I ever had to say about Jimmy Carter, I said right here.

So much for today's news. I mean, seriously, CBS releases a BS report, Fatboy Moore wins an Internet-based people's choice award, and Brad and Jennifer are quits. Well, excuse me, but there are x million number of people in a tsunami ravaged world right now who couldn't care less because they have more important things to do and think about. And I for one don't need a got-damned tidal wave breaking over my head to achieve that blissful state of mind. Cool?

I'm outta here. See ya soon.

Comments

[Ron]

I had a squirrel problem in my attic, near my LAWN TOOLS. I have a .22 caliber pellet gun I took up there one day and wasted the the rodent. I've also seen bait traps and D-con works too. Either way you have to haul it's furry little ass out of the attic or a distinct odor will permeate you home. A lot of times, just crawling in the attic will scare them off unless there's a nest(most likely) in which case, prepare to use your fighting gloves. I liked the pellet gun solution. It was quick and painless (for me):)(:-> I've also heard of the squirrel-be-gone ceremony practiced for billions of years by the wahoo indian tribe. That requires costumes and dressing up like Barbara Streisand, but seems to be very effective unless it is the northern spotted Mojave desert kangaroo squirrel (a protected species), in which case the aforementioned pellet gun will get you jail time. If you're in a blue state call PETA. If you're in a red state, blow the little fucker away.

[chrys]

squirrels - In Korea they like to have rats in their ceilings - some kind of good luck?!? These dang varments were the size of a "jack russel." "fat boy" - tells you who cares about this dribble (the kind who want to award "fat boy")

I put my tsunami page back as a "click." I need to put more up-date on it sometime in the next 24 hours.

After all these years (5 years on W's military time?!?) - surely put in a lot of work for such a small bit of dribble - guess CBS thought it was worth the expense to try for five years - hmmm. If that's the best dirt they can find - it makes "W" look pretty moral and virtuous and shows their clear motive ;-D

[Dan]

That's great, Ron. So, can I borrow your 22, or maybe the wahoo Indian costume? Come to think of it, I'm in NJ, maybe I'll call our rx Governor, I hear he likes to chase things that are squirrely.

And chrys, yes, it does make W look pretty clean.

[DC]

Dan ...

I don't profess to have Ron's expertise, but the D-Con stuff generally sends 'em running for the hills looking for water ... where they die a painful death ... or they end up in a wall in your house, stink it up and you have to cut a 3 foot hole in the sheetrock and dig them out.

Dead squirrel is worth it, though.