Stone's Alexander to Blow Across America in Whirlwind Tour

Undaunted by harsh blows from some critics a defiant Oliver Stone insists he won't get down on his knees to beg " a bunch of red state Jesus freaks" to come out and see his big flick. "I'm not even going to give them lip service," he insisted. Said to be contemplating a unique marketing strategy to find an audience, an "Alexander Blue America" tour would concentrate marketing dollars and energies in areas of the country more likely to swallow the longish movie that insiders say has left a very bad taste in the mouth of Stone's Hollywood backers.

Fresh off a breakthrough stand up engagement in Abu Ghraib raved about in the New York Times the Unknown Terrorist aka Muchahed FerZakari is slotted to emcee the shows - comprised of an allstar cast of well known head acts.

Initially Anna Nicole Smith was scheduled to add her weight to the effort unfortunately sources say she's currently recovering from a bout with exhaustion at an as yet undiclosed rehab location. Piping in from London an excited Elton John said, "It's really unfair that certain elements of American society aren't ready for this movie. These so-called red staters don't have a monopoly on values. Just like many Hollywood folk I hit my knees every night and I fail to see the difference between us and them."

Reached for comment on the movie and upcoming tour a press weary Paris Hilton responded, "Well, I don't really know a lot of details about the cast and the tour but as far as the movie goes, I know it doesn't suck."

Comments

[Gordon]

Now who has Paris, dawg?

[Ron Deaton]

That collage of pictures would be a good leader for a hollyweird horror flick. Well done as always Dan.