The Vivisection Chronicles: Moonbat Sonata

A liberal wandering gnome appeared on my e-doorstep today, sadly, not a sure sign of a spring thaw over the body politic: and a cowardly gnome, at that. I display the artifacts of the visit for your perusal and my abuse.

IP Address: 209.165.2.43

Because  you conservatives love Bush's right-wing policies so much and
voted for him then:

Good start, the "you (add an intended to disparage stereotypical nom de guerre, or just "people," here)" approach always prepares me for the astute political observation most certainly to follow.

1. Let your son be drafted, sent to Iraq and be killed as Bush/Cheney cannon fodder, not mine.

"Drafted?" This idiot must be using old campaign literature as a coaster as they undoubtedly liquefy their brain and spiral down through the sad stages of an internet and cheap wine induced dimentia initiated by a lack of character in facing defeat - any concept of "Grace under pressure" being lost on them. Had they read anything here, they'd know I do have family "over there," with more quite possibly to follow, soon. As for your offal-spring, liberal, given your prose, I wouldn't worry too much until the government starts employing those shortened yellow school buses to ferry some of our more "special" troops toward the front.

2. Let your money go to Washington to pay for the giveaways to the
corporations, the rich and the evangelical churches, don't take mine.

Yes, George Bush is the Monty Hall of right wing politics and no doubt Ceo's, Pastors and Billionaires are already donning fanciful costumes and manufacturing quirky placards in hopes of qualifying for the big "deal."  Hint to liberal - I'm simply trying to frame the discussion in terms I suspect your TV viewing habits will help you to grasp.

3. Let you be the one to invite the government into your bedroom to enforce
their "moral" views, not into mine.

Unfortunately Condi's ankles are a tad thick for my tastes, but given the right under secretarial appointments I've no doubt there's at least one, if not several, Bush appointees I wouldn't mind having in for a little spank and frolic from time to time. And if the apointees don't oblige, there's more than a few female right wing pundits I'd love to have over in a heartbeat, my only concern being - will they prefer leather, or should we go lace for the evening's festivities. Such is my great concern over the government dictating my bedroom habits. Just curious, liberal, is it the animals or the underaged in yours that cause you such grave concern?

4. Let the government take away your freedom of Religion, not mine.

How's this for metaphysical meandering - if a tree falls on the head of a liberal would it knock into their inane consciousness the notion that there is absolutely NO freedom of religion in left-leaning thought which holds that all reference to a universal God of your choosing must be removed from the nation's schools, court houses, political discourse and currencies - and would anyone hear said tree fall it if it did, let alone care?

5.Since you cosidered (sic) Saddam more dangerous than Bin Laden, when Al Qaida does another terrorist attack, let it be your family who is killed, not
mine.

Well, I thank you for the kind sentiments. Something tells me the most harm Bin Laden will ever do to your family will be his burning  them in efigy when he throws into the campfire that tacky Mall of America picture cum postcard you so annoyingly mailed out to all and everyone last "X-mas" season. But I digress. As stated, my family is already fighting terorism, dullard ... relax, your little Jimmy can now feel safer as he slinks about in his unfitting ghetto jeans, peace now t-shirt and incessantly bemoans your inadequacy for having not paid his latest cell phone bill on time.

If you right-wingers don't stop forcing your views down other people's
throats, you're gonna get what you seem to love most - war and violence - but it won't be "over there". Get ready for civil war 2 - I for one, would rather die fighting then submit! "Give me liberty or give me death!"

A Patriot.

Heavens, where to begin. I so apologize for having awoken you from a drunken stupor only to drag you to this blog named, um, "Carnivorous Conservative." That begs the question, is anyone really shoving anything down your throat, or maybe you're simply lost in some masochistic throat poking fantasy causing you to seek out that which you lack and rub yourself against its leg much like, well, frankly, a pussy, Mr. or Ms. 209.165.2.43? Only a fool loves "war and violence," and only a bigger fool threatens it without the basic courage of even disclosing in even the slightest manner, who you really are. But, my compliments, you certainly have a knack for displaying what you are, however otherwise limited you might be.

As for "liberty or death," I offer you neither. Liberty is something that can only be earned and given by the self and your pathetic, begging appearance here only goes to prove how miserably you are failing in that regard. I really am so sorry. As for death, well, I don't believe you are quite ready for that privileged freedom from your drivling mess of a half-life, at least not by my hand. I think I'd much rather watch you squirm through a four year purgatory imposed upon you by over 60 Million clear thinking, right speaking Americans who, on November 2nd labeled you, now so obviously correctly, as a "loser." And while you've given me absolutely no reason to believe for one minute that you're the type to finally take responsibility for yourself, I'm still obliged to close by sending just a wee bit of common wisdom your way; it simply isn't my fault that you're proving to be such a "sore" one.

Dismissed.

Comments

[Crazy Chester]

I'm new to your blog. I came over from various vet's blogs after a year of doing battle with the species of lefty you quote above.

This type of thinking is very primitive. I think also that it's apolitical, and has more to do with fear fermented to hatred, and an inability to explain the world.

Sometimes it evolves into torchlight parades and the smashing of windows, too.

[Jerry vbc]

Boy, this guy needs a prozac each and every day for a long time. Besides, I thought all liberals gave up their guns a long time ago? Oh well, I do believe once this dude or dudette decided to "put it all on the line" they will do one of two things, 1) realize the conservative approach is actually the best or 2) go running with arms flailing and a scream of an 8 year old girl to Canada. I'd give them a quarter, but they are not worth it, but someone needs a clue.

[Bill]

You are a very good writer and made a very strong response to the liberal attack. Please keep going, I makes me proud to know that not all of use drag our nuckles on the ground. - Bill

[Ron Deaton]

Excellent fisk, Dan. Sadly, telling it like it is goes in one hole in the head and out the other. I'd say ear, but requires listening. I think all liberals owe it to themselves to visit American Digest and read "Yearning for the Mud". BTW; where is thine tippy jar?

[Michael Gersh]

Nice reply, Dan. Personally, I have given up on reasoning with the trolls, and just delete their spoor when it appears, and ban them. As long as God gives you the strength to respond to them, maybe you can at least convince them to bother someone else. That is, if they read anything we write in the first, or second, place. Sometimes I think that they just spam us all without reading anything at all, but, this one at least, I haven't gotten (yet). Or maybe I've banned him/her already

[Crazy Chester]

I posted in the beginning, went back and read the thread, and still come away baffled. I noted that I've argued with this particular variety of Lefty eggplant before. With them, it isn't actually a form of argument, it's an exchange across separate realities.

Our reality has an objective reference, where they come aboard with a list of incantations picked up at Move-On, DU and the rocky shelters where these hominids cluster together and hang out. The monolith is outside the cave and they take turns touching it. The "thinking" is always derivative, repetitive and symbolic, and where it isn't grotesque, it's just funny.

I came to liken the internet to an opposable thumb for these creatures, and their "issues" are the tools they use to strike out at us and anyone who threatens them...including members of their own tribe. Capitalism, religion, self-defense, the whole thing you see in this thread.

It's always difficult to establish an insanity defense, but it isn't all that difficult to recognize social Darwinism when you see it at work. These people are disappearing into the mists of time, and good riddance.

[Crazy Chester]

I left out the fact that the image of this firefly actually fighting for something, is hilarious.