Bush a goner?

With the PJ'd Pro's and Semi-Pro's covering RatherGate, I figured I'd take a look at something different. On Monday, the left's pin-up blimp, Michael Moore, unleashed his fleshy fingers and meated out a missive to the liberal failthful across the internet. I found it an interesting read, not so much for what it said, but for what it revealed.

Enough of the handwringing! Enough of the doomsaying! ... Bush IS a goner -- IF we all just quit our whining and bellyaching and stop shaking like a bunch of nervous ninnies. Geez, this is embarrassing! The Republicans are laughing at us. Do you ever see them cry ... Bush can't win! Waaaaaa!"

Ironic that a guy who looks like his last meal came from pawing apart a discarded happy meal bag would use the word "embarassed." If he's ever going to resort to "handwringing" himself, one might hope he'd apply his energies to the sweatband under his tattered adolescent cap. But give him credit for bucking up the troops, I suppose - too bad in typical liberal fashion - it's the wrong ones. So what's he really saying here? "Okay, I know we're all a bunch of spineless wimps who never have what it takes to see a fight through to the end, but, geesh, boys and girls, we still got Rather on our side" Well ... they did have on Monday, anyway.

He goes on: "They are relentless and that is why we secretly admire them." --
Yes, there's also something about Republicans "lying, shedding" and the usual blah blah blah crap, the sam'ol demented schtick. But he goes on to say "they (Republicans) just simply never, ever give up." Can't this clown read between his own lines, or does he need a screenwriter to connect his miswired dots? Either the man is genuinely full of self loathing and a terrible opinion of his fellow libs -or he flat out doesn't recognize the elements of character that truly make this Nation great, perhaps both. Choose your supposition - I find any one a bit revelatory. Moore "admires" Republicans?? And here I thought he had an old Farrah Fawcett poster over his bed, who knew that all this time it was a copy of Nation Review?

Only 30% of the country calls itself "Republican," yet the Republicans own it all -- the White House, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority of the governorships. How do you think they've been able to pull that off considering they are a minority? It's because they eat you and me and every other liberal for breakfast and then spend the rest of the day wreaking havoc on the planet.

Ha Ha Ha Well, I admit the boy probably packs a lot of protein, but doesn't the real reason conservatives "eat the libs for breakfast" rest in the fact that we wake up .. in time to go to work? Somehow I see pictures of clean cut conservatives "pillaging the planet" while Moore hangs in the sack with a package of Oreos. Hint Mikey - that pillaging the planet thing is called making an honest living in my circles.

Look at us -- what a bunch of crybabies. Bush gets a bounce after his convention and you would have thought the Germans had run through Poland again. The Bushies are coming, the Bushies are coming! Yes, they caught Kerry asleep on the Swift Boat thing. Yes, they found the frequency in Dan Rather and ran with it. Suddenly it's like, "THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS FALLING!"

Subtle Bush/Hitler reference aside, it sure is fun to see how fast these guys turn on one another, isn't it? Kerry's asleep at the wheel, Rather misdialed his headset and "we're all a bunch of chicken littles." Yeah, I wouldn't want this crowd running the restrooms on the Washington Mall, let alone the war on terror.

And on Kerry, "... Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate -- he's a Democrat, for heavens sake! That party is so pathetic, they even lose the elections they win! What were you expecting, Bruce Springsteen heading up the ticket? Bruce would make a helluva president, but guys like him don't run -- and neither do you or I. People like Kerry run." Well, now there's a reason to vote for someone. "Vote for Kerry - he's the best we got." These guys run an election like a freakin' fire sale. But then we should have figured that out when Billary tried the "buy one get one free scam."

Yes, OF COURSE any of us would have run a better, smarter, kick-ass campaign. Of course we would have smacked each and every one of those phony swifty boaty bastards down. But WE are not running for president -- Kerry is. So quit complaining and work with what we have. Oprah just gave 300 women a... Pontiac! Did you see any of them frowning and moaning and screaming, "Oh God, NOT a friggin' Pontiac!" Of course not, they were happy. The Pontiacs all had four wheels, an engine and a gas pedal. You want more than that, well, I can't help you.

Okay, so maybe it's a used car lot approach this time instead of a fire sale - but if you're going to try and kick the tires on Kerry, you'd better be prepared to give him another purple heart. What kind of mentality thinks "WE could do it better, we just don't wanna?" A lazy one, I suspect. He actually even tried to drop into a little serious analysis. Note, I said "tried."

The polls are wrong ... they are polling "likely voters." ... that cuts out young people who are voting for the first time and a ton of non-voters who are definitely going to vote in THIS election. ... they are not polling people who use their cell phone as their primary phone ... the polls are weighted with too many Republicans, as pollster John Zogby revealed last week. You are being snookered if you believe any of these polls.

Yeah, Mikey, you got it right. Come Nov. 2 the malls are going to close and polls everywhere are going to be over run by gals with naval piercings and cell phones. Well, at least the thought gives ME one more reason to get out and vote. But I'm thinking turn out is going to be just about what it always is - not enough.

"Kerry has brought in the Clinton A-team. Instead of shunning Clinton (as Gore did), Kerry has decided to not make that mistake." So true, Mikey. Now Kerry has the pleasure of having his chief campaign adviser explaining what, when and how he helped Rather dial in that magical frquency. Good call, sport. Since this was written on Monday, I guess the ESP you're relying on to predict new voting patters THIS YEAR has some bugs. I knew Kreskin, Mikey ... and you're no Kreskin. Let me tell ya.

Do not let those well-produced Bush rallies of angry white people scare you. Turn off the TV! (Except Jon Stewart and Bill Moyers -- everything else is just a sugar-coated lie).

I get the distinct impression this guys has had his ass kicked by more than a few "angry white people" over the years, probably started back in grade school. According to Moore Iraq

"has descended into the third level of a hell we used to call Vietnam. There is no way out. It is a full-blown mess of a quagmire and the body bags will sadly only mount higher. Regardless of what Kerry meant by his original war vote" ... Kerry can "recognize an immoral war that cannot be "won."

Wars can be won and they can be lost. What is eminently clear is that, by his own definition, people who think like Moore love to lose and know how to accomplish that, if little else.

WAKE UP! The majority are with us! More than half of all Americans are pro-choice, want stronger environmental laws, are appalled that assault weapons are back on the street -- and 54% now believe the war is wrong. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO CONVINCE THEM OF ANY OF THIS -- YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE THEM A RAY OF HOPE AND A RIDE TO THE POLLS. CAN YOU DO THAT? WILL YOU DO THAT?

Well there's a nice bit of self delusion from a guy gone begging ... maybe he had the National Organziation of Taxi Drivers in mind when he wrote this one.

Just for me, please? Buck up. The country is almost back in our hands. Not another negative word until Nov. 3rd! Then you can bitch all you want about how you wish Kerry was still that long-haired kid who once had the courage to stand up for something.

Yeah, Uncle Ho. To quote another great ho ... "scumbag!"

Personally, I think that kid is still inside him. Instead of the wailing and gnashing of your teeth, why not hold out a hand to him and help the inner soldier/protester come out and defeat the forces of evil we now so desperately face. Do we have any other choice?

Up music. There's a place for us ... somewhere there's a place for us ... yes, there's a place for us, somewhere .....

Not now, Mikey boy. Not here. And not now. And with any luck, not ever. Now go change your hat. I think it's getting a little too tight, loser.

Update: I added a link to Wizbang who has more on the Oprah story. Seems free isn't always "free," afterall.

Comments

[C]

It's not just Mikey who likes Kerry---so do many Republicans as you'll see on http://inprogress.typepad.com/republicanswitchers

[C]

It's not just Mikey who likes Kerry---so do many Republicans as you'll see on http://inprogress.typepad.com/republicanswitchers